The Agricultural Extrapolation
by Daedaleopsis
Summary: Penny moves back home temporarily when her father is hospitalized. Chaos ensues when not one but both of her nerdy next-door neighbors try to help. But only one of them can save her parent's farm... and perhaps win her heart.
1. Chapter 1

_**Note: This story goes AU from sometime in season 3 while Penny and Leonard are dating. With fond memories of my roommate Debbie, who grew up on a dairy farm. All mistakes associated with farming (and all the rest too) are mine.**_

* * *

Penny shrieked with delight as she ambushed Howard's avatar. She leaned over to high-five Sheldon, her favorite Halo partner, who rolled his eyes but returned her gesture. She had picked up the controller once more when her phone began to trill. She checked the caller ID, and paused the game.

"Just a sec, guys; it's my parents." She got up and walked back towards the hallway for some privacy.

Sheldon huffed in annoyance. "Penny, your long-distance conversations with your parents average thirty-seven minutes in length. Your phone call's duration has already exceeded a single second."

She made a face and flapped a hand at him in dismissal as she headed round the corner.

"Well, I could use a refill," Howard announced, grabbing his red Solo cup and heading for the kitchen. Raj held out his cup with a pleading look. With a dramatic sigh, Howard took it.

Just then, Penny rushed back into the living room, almost knocking Howard over. She rifled through Leonard's desk, scribbling rapidly on the first piece of paper she found.

"Which hospital? Okay, yeah, I got it. Don't worry, Mom. I'll be there as soon as I can." She hung up and stared at the paper with a shell-shocked expression.

"Is everything okay, Penny?" Leonard asked hesitantly.

"It's my dad. He, um... he collapsed. They think it's his heart. He's in surgery right now." Penny clapped a hand over her mouth as she fought to contain her panic and grief.

"Is there anything we can do?" Raj asked gently.

Penny gave him a watery smile. "I have to go pack a suitcase. If one of you could book me a flight on the next plane to Omaha, that would be great. I'll pay you back, I promise. And I could use a ride to the airport."

The boys crowded around Leonard's laptop and in short order had purchased a round-trip ticket for Penny. Sheldon was the one who actually paid her fare. Leonard had wanted to pay for it, but he didn't have enough money in his account at the moment. He thought defensively to himself that it wasn't his fault his girlfriend's love language was designer shoes.

* * *

When Penny walked out of the baggage claim doors, a rush of cold air made her shiver, even though it was almost summer. _Nothing like being back in Nebraska_ , she thought wryly. She spotted her Aunt Debbie waving at her from a pickup truck parked by the curb. She hurried over, her carry-on with the broken wheel banging and clattering behind her, and gave her aunt a hug.

"How is he?" she asked, skipping the niceties and getting straight to the point.

Debbie smiled, but her expression was strained. "Well, the surgery was successful, but the doctors say he's not out of the woods yet. The next forty-eight hours will be critical. It's a good thing you're home, sweetie. Your big sister's been driving your mom crazy, and that kind of stress is the last thing she needs right now." She tossed Penny's suitcase into the back of the pickup.

Penny hopped into the passenger side and buckled up. "Let me guess. Kim's decided that she has to argue with Mom over every little thing because she's sure she knows better than the doctors."

"You've hit the nail on the head," Debbie confirmed, as she pulled out into the airport traffic. "Your brother Donnie's been trying to get a day pass to visit your dad, but you know how the justice system is with paperwork."

"Dammit, is he back in jail already? I thought he just got out. I can't even keep track of all his convictions," Penny complained.

"Like I said, I'm glad you're here to help out. I've been doing as much as I can for your mom, but with the little ones still in school, there's only so much I can do."

"I know, Aunt Debbie. Don't blame yourself," Penny replied, staring out of the window. She'd been in Nebraska for less than an hour, and already she was weighted down with family drama and obligations. It was why she visited so seldom. In California, she could be who she wanted to be, or almost. There was still Leonard who pressured her to be smarter or more affectionate or more supportive, but his neediness was a drop in the bucket compared to the craziness that was her family. In a weird way, the pressure from him was just enough to feel familiar without making her feel like she couldn't breathe.

Her aunt anticipated her wishes and drove her straight to the hospital, explaining that no one was at her parent's house during the day anyway. Penny tried not to feel scared as she breathed in the odors of the hospital: antiseptic, urine and hopelessness. Her father was sleeping, and he looked small and pale lying in the hospital bed. She stroked his hand, careful not to jostle his IV, and whispered, "I'm here, Daddy." Her father woke up a few times during her visit, but he was confused and easily tired. Penny tried not to let it show how much she hated to see him, once so proud and strong, reduced to an old man who lacked the strength to sit up on his own.

Once visiting hours were over, Penny drove her mother home in her mom's old gray sedan. As she pulled up next to the house, she looked toward the long white barn on her left. "Mom, who's been looking after the farm and taking care of things?" she asked.

Her mother looked away. "Your cousin Jeb's been coming around as much as he can."

Penny's heart sank. Jeb was fourteen, and not nearly old enough, strong enough, or responsible enough to run a dairy by himself. She would have to see for herself how bad things were, but first she had to take care of her mother. Inside the house, Penny took stock of the kitchen. A few dirty dishes were piled in the sink, and the fridge was looking rather empty. She found a can of soup in the pantry. While the soup was heating, she popped some store-bought biscuits into the oven. She burned the biscuits a little, but the soup was fine. Even so, she and her mother picked at their food. Penny forced herself to eat as much as she could to set a good example, then got up to wash the dishes.

After the kitchen was clean, Penny went upstairs and borrowed an old pair of jeans and flannel shirt from her mom's closet. The boots from her rodeo days were still in a box under the bed in her childhood bedroom. She pulled them on and headed out to the barn.

A bike leaning against the wall near the door told her that her cousin was inside. It was almost dark, and although Penny really appreciated his help, she knew he couldn't keep the farm going and get his schoolwork done. She found him struggling to lift down a last bale of hay. He had shot up since she saw him last, but he couldn't have weighed a hundred pounds yet. She helped him lower the bale to the ground and then said, "I've got it from here, Jeb. You go home to your mom and get your homework done." He nodded, and Penny pulled him into a quick hug and whispered her thanks before finishing the chores alone.

When Penny woke up the next morning, her back and shoulders ached. It had been far too long since she had done such physically demanding work. She popped several ibuprofen before heading out to the dairy barn, feeling guilty that it was already six a.m. and she had left the poor cows waiting to be milked. When she was finally finished with the chores, it was almost two hours later, and she was gratified to find that her mother had gotten up and cooked breakfast. Her body was clamoring for calories, and she scarfed down bacon along with her toast and eggs: no sense trying to be a vegetarian in dairy country.

Over the next few days, her time was divided between visiting her father, who was still unconscious most of the time, trying to run interference between her mother and Kim, and buying groceries with the last bit of money she had brought with her. Maybe it was terrible of her, but she couldn't help but think how relieved she was that Leonard hadn't come home with her. With the best of intentions, he would have gotten in her way, creating complications where he just wanted to help. And that wasn't even dealing with the issue of a lactose-intolerant boyfriend on a dairy farm.


	2. Chapter 2

Within a couple of days, her father was starting to show some slight improvement, and the doctors were starting to discuss his recovery with more optimism. His health was still quite fragile, and he slept most of the time. Penny was starting to realize that her mother would need help for many weeks, if not months. She began to wonder if this was the universe's way of telling her that she didn't belong in California any more.

That evening, as she pulled her mother's car into the gravel driveway, her mother looked at the house with a confused frown. "I think someone's here," she said.

Penny's jaw dropped as she saw a familiar mop-headed figure rise from the swing on the porch. "It's... it's Leonard," she stammered. She got out of the car and climbed the porch steps to where he was waiting, head tilted to one side and an unsure smile on his face.

"Surprise," he said weakly.

She hugged him and then, trying not to sound accusatory, asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I just couldn't let you deal with your father's illness all by yourself, so I came to help... or at least lend some moral support," he said.

"That's so sweet," Penny replied, hoping she sounded sincere. Her mother had come up onto the porch and greeted Leonard quietly. Penny made the introductions. Her mother was gracious and welcoming, but Penny was cringing internally. This was not only poor circumstances for her boyfriend to meet her family, but she knew that her mother was emotionally drained and not up for company.

"Bring your suitcase inside," Penny told her boyfriend. "We'll figure out where you can stay later."

"I thought I'd stay with you," Leonard said in disappointment.

Penny chuckled. "You can... if you want to sleep on the floor. My parents didn't believe in spoiling their kids with luxuries like double beds. We all had to make do with twin-sized," she commented with a wry twist of her mouth. "I can put you up in either Kim or Bobby's old room."

Leonard left his suitcase just inside the front door and followed Penny upstairs. She walked into a room that was decorated to a teenage girl's tastes and stripped off her shirt. Leonard was pleasantly surprised at her initiative but also felt a little uncomfortable, knowing her mom was just below them making dinner.

"Hey, don't you think your mom might hear us?" he asked as he shucked off his hoodie and t-shirt.

She turned, and her eyebrows rose as she saw he had started to undress. "I have to go feed and milk the cows now," she said, grinning. "Are you coming too?"

He took a couple of steps forward and put his hands on either side of her bare waist. "I just got here," he complained. "The cows can wait a little while, can't they?"

She kissed him, but then twisted out of his reach and pulled an old flannel shirt over her head. "Actually, they really can't," Penny replied. "Maybe you can go downstairs and help my mom with dinner."

"I'd rather be with you," he complained with just a hint of whine building up in his voice. Penny fought hard not to roll her eyes or sigh. Sure, he was her boyfriend but right now, his neediness was the last thing she wanted to have to deal with.

"You don't have any boots," she pointed out. "Or any old clothes. I have to go muck out some stalls, and you really don't want to get manure on your nice clothes."

"I did notice it kind of stinks around here," he agreed, wrinkling his nose.

Penny felt a flash of anger. Everyone knew that clean, well-cared-for cows didn't stink; they just smelled like cows. To her, the fragrance of clean straw and contented cattle was comfortable and familiar. She bit her lip, not wanting to start an argument less than an hour after Leonard had arrived. Besides, she was really too tired to argue. She walked downstairs in stocking feet to get her boots, leaving Leonard to his own devices.

When she got back into the house, she was happy to find Leonard in the kitchen, talking with her mother. "I'll be down in a minute," she called. "I just need to take a shower." Conversation around the dinner table wasn't too awkward. Connie kept Leonard talking about his work. Although neither mother nor daughter understood his lengthy explanation of his latest research project, it filled what may have otherwise been an exhausted silence. Penny felt Leonard's eyes on her as she took a second helping of everything. "Hey, I'm hungry," she protested. He had no idea how many calories she burned hauling hay bales.

"I didn't say anything," he said quickly, raising his hands in surrender. "Except I thought you were a vegetarian," he added pointedly, looking at the fried chicken she had just put on her plate.

"I started that after I moved to California," she replied. "But it doesn't seem fair to my mom to ask her to cook different foods just because I'm visiting. Besides, now that I'm doing all the chores twice a day, I couldn't gain weight if I wanted to."

"Sweetie, I could look for some vegetarian recipes," Penny's mom began, looking concerned.

"No, don't worry about it, Mom. I love your fried chicken," Penny said, shooting Leonard a dirty look.

Leonard sighed. He had come all this way thinking Penny needed him and would be happy to see him, but this was hardly the welcome he had expected. Later that night, after they had watched some TV with her mom, they made a show of saying good night and going to their own separate rooms. He waited for several minutes, then crept into Penny's room and tried hard not to take offense when he found her already asleep. She stirred when he kissed her and responded drowsily to his advances. Twenty minutes later, Leonard crept back to his own room, having finally gotten what he had been desperately missing. He decided tomorrow would be soon enough to have a talk with Penny about her priorities.

* * *

The next day, while Penny and her mom went for their daily visit to see Wyatt at the hospital, Leonard called a taxi and went shopping. Upon returning to the farm,, he laid his purchases out on the bed with a satisfied grin. Now Penny would be grateful he was here, and he couldn't wait until they were alone again so she could demonstrate her gratitude. When Penny and her mom arrived home, they were treated to an extraordinary sight. Leonard was strutting around on the front porch, dressed in full cowboy mode, from the huge ten-gallon hat on his head to the tooled red leather boots on his feet.

Penny clapped a hand over her mouth. "Mom, don't laugh," she begged. "You'll hurt his feelings." Connie drew in a deep breath to compose herself, and then nodded. Her eyes were twinkling as she said, "I believe I have something very urgent to take care of inside." She hurried past Leonard, briefly commenting that he looked very handsome.

Penny followed. "Hey, honey, where did you get your new clothes?" she asked. She was smiling, but that was okay, right? Leonard didn't need to know _why_ she was smiling at him.

"At the Bucking Bronco Boutique on the other end of town," he answered. "Now I'm all ready to help you on the farm."

Her eyes widened, and the corner of her mouth twitched. "But Leonard, you'll get your nice new clothes all dirty."

"They'll wash," he replied gallantly.

Penny instantly felt bad for wanting to laugh at his gaudy outfit. "All right. Just give me a few minutes to change, and I'll take you to the barn and introduce you to our girls," she said.

The "girls", Leonard found out, were how Penny's family often referred to their dairy cows, since they were by necessity all female. He had never seen a cow in real life before, and he was shocked at how large they were once you got up close. Nevertheless, he gamely followed along behind Penny, trying to remember everything she was telling him about running a dairy.

After chores, that evening was a virtual repeat of the previous night, although this time, Leonard made sure not to criticize Penny's dietary habits. Dinner, a little TV-watching, and then a clandestine hook-up in Penny's room. As he expected, she made more of an effort to please him. As he crept back down the hallway, he reflected how he was really beginning to miss her queen-sized bed back in Pasadena. As he fell asleep, Leonard tried to remember to ask Penny soon how much longer she was planning to stay out here on her parent's farm.

The next morning, Leonard woke up earlier even than Penny or her mom. It was still dark out, but late enough to be called early morning instead of way past midnight. Leonard lay in bed for a few moments, and then a brilliant idea occurred to him. He would go out to the barn and start on the chores for Penny. He quickly got up and pulled on a brand-new flannel shirt (fortunately, he had bought more than one set of cowboy clothes) and jeans. He had left his new red boots to dry on the porch overnight, and he thumped them together, trying to dislodge the worst of the dried manure. Penny had been right about getting his new clothes dirty, he thought mournfully.

He got out to the barn and set to work. His first task was to take down bales of hay from the loft, and he was amazed at how heavy straw could be. He decided to just push the bales over the edge. Unfortunately, his aim was bad, and a bale struck one of the cows a glancing blow on the flank. Leonard swore under his breath and rushed down to try to calm the panicked beast, and that was when he understood what Penny had tried to tell him about his new boots. They were just for decoration and never meant to be used for work, so when the agitated bovine stomped hard on his booted foot, he heard something crunch and felt a searing pain. He fell over, whimpering and clutching his foot as he scooted backward to avoid being kicked or stepped on. He curled up in a corner, white-faced with pain but too afraid of the cows to try to cry out.

Penny found him like that a few minutes later. Much to his shock, the cows still came first, as she explained apologetically that there was no one else to feed and milk them. She rushed through her chores and then drove Leonard to the emergency room. After three hours in the waiting room, a nurse finally cut off his boot and took x-rays to confirm that three of his metatarsals were broken. Leonard left the hospital on crutches with his foot in a cast. Before he knew it, Penny had arranged for him to catch a flight home where his friends could provide the care that she simply couldn't manage. She was very apologetic, of course, and kissed him and promised that she would come back as soon as possible. Still, Leonard couldn't help but feel that he had been hustled out of Omaha in indecent haste.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard returned home in a petulant mood. He still couldn't believe that his foot had been broken by a stupid steak on legs, and he was still angry with Penny for acting like she cared more about her precious cows than him. She'd even insisted that he shouldn't have gone out to the barn by himself when he didn't know what he was doing. Not only had it ruined his grand heroic gesture, but Penny couldn't (or wouldn't) take care of him herself. So here he was, back in California, with only his friends to wait on—er, help him.

The only bright spot in this whole ordeal was that his three friends had managed to get the landlord to fix the elevator. Just how they had accomplished this, he didn't know. When he asked, all he got in response was a variety of looks ranging from conspiratorial (Howard) to evil-villain (Sheldon) to guilty (Raj). At the time, his foot had been throbbing, so he only cared that the three of them weren't going to try to carry him up four flights of stairs. Of course, even as he imagined them doing so, he could picture Sheldon trailing behind as Howard and Raj did all the work, explaining how Leonard should be able to handle a few measly steps by himself, with the proper application of some basic physics principles.

Later that evening, Leonard was resting on the non-Sheldon end of the leather couch with his foot propped up on a chair. He had to admit, it was a relief to be back home. He most definitely didn't belong on a farm, although he didn't think Penny did either. He watched Sheldon busily cleaning up the trash from their takeout dinner.

"What is the financial state of Wyatt and Connie's farm?" Sheldon's voice broke into Leonard's tired musings.

"What?" he responded, his thoughts sluggish.

Sheldon repeated the question verbatim, and Leonard frowned at him in confusion. "I have no idea. Do you really think I wanted to spend the time I had with Penny talking about her parents' bank accounts?"

"Based on my observation, less than 22 percent of your interactions with Penny involve conversation. However, I thought that with her father not only unable to work but convalescing in a lengthy stay at the hospital that the subject may have come up as a pressing concern of hers."

"Well, it didn't," Leonard grumbled. "And we do too talk, way more than twenty percent of the time. You're just making that up."

"Would you like to see my data? Or perhaps you would prefer that I summarize it in a pie chart for you?" Sheldon offered. Leonard thought he sounded facetious, but he didn't doubt that his roommate could have a pie chart ready at a moment's notice if proof was demanded.

"How 'bout you just get to the damn point, assuming you have one?" Leonard asked tiredly.

Sheldon deposited the empty cartons that he had gathered into the trash can and turned back to Leonard. "I haven't mentioned this before, but my Pappy owned a farm—actually, a cattle ranch. When he became ill with hepatic cancer, my Meemaw tried to keep the ranch going and take care of her husband at the same time. It was a pointless endeavor which consumed the remainder of their life savings and left her impecunious."

Leonard regarded his roommate curiously. While Sheldon rarely displayed concern for others, he loved his Meemaw more than anyone else in the world. So Leonard could understand how the parallels between his Meemaw and Penny's parents might distress him.

"I'm... uh, I'm sorry to hear that," Leonard offered, unsure of what Sheldon wanted from him.

"History is cyclical; it tends to repeat itself," Sheldon muttered. Whirling around, he strode to the nearest whiteboard and erased it with broad strokes. Then he picked up a marker and started scribbling formulas across the board. Leonard watched him for a minute or two. It appeared that Sheldon was calculating some sort of cost-benefit analysis. He imagined that Sheldon would try to present Penny with some sort of mathematical solution for her parent's farm that only he could understand. With a dramatic sigh, Leonard grabbed the TV remote off the coffee table and started flipping through channels. It seemed that no one cared how much he was suffering.

The next day, Sheldon seemed a little preoccupied, but he didn't mention his calculations again. Leonard was happy to let the matter drop and looking forward to getting back to work—anything to distract him from the pain in his foot and his girlfriend's disappointing behavior. Over the next few days, it was business as usual, except that now Raj had to drive them both back and forth to work. Leonard had gotten a pair of crutches from his doctor and was managing fairly well with them, although he was still milking his plaster-clad foot for all it was worth. Women especially seemed to respond to his wounded warrior act, since he may have implied a time or two that he had been injured doing something daring and heroic. In his mind, it was close enough to the truth. Not many men with a doctorate degree in particle physics would be willing to labor in a smelly barn to help their girlfriend.

Near the end of the week, Dr. Gablehauser stopped by his office. A broad smile wreathed his face. "I guess you've heard the news," he greeted Leonard jovially.

"No. What news?" Leonard asked curiously.

Gablehauser looked surprised. "Didn't he tell you? Cooper's taking vacation—actually, an indefinite leave of absence." He noticed the stunned expression on Leonard's face and had the grace to look chagrined. "I'm sorry. I know the two of you are friends, so I just assumed he already told you." He glanced down at Leonard's cast. "Do you, ah, need any assistance while he's away? I'm sure I can scare up a grad student to give you a hand."

 _"Scare" being the operative word_ , Leonard thought wryly as he accepted Gablehauser's unusually generous request. _He must really be in a good mood about Sheldon leaving. But what the hell is Sheldon up to now?_

When Leonard confronted Sheldon, his roommate was atypically vague about his plans, but he did explain that he planned to visit Penny and her parents in Nebraska. He said he had come to the conclusion that he was obligated to lend aid since he was the only one who could render assistance, elevating the situation to a unspoken tier-one friendship request. Leonard didn't know whether to lecture or laugh. He imagined that Sheldon would drive Penny and her parents crazy within forty-eight hours of his arrival, if not less. Of course, a good boyfriend would do nothing less than try to dissuade his insane roommate from dropping in unannounced on his girlfriend's family. Really, that was what Leonard knew he should do. But his ego was still bruised from Penny's callous treatment of him, so he cheerfully and mendaciously told Sheldon that his plan was a great idea, and he was sure her family would welcome his help.

* * *

Penny drove home from the hospital alone and in silence. It had been another emotional rollercoaster of a day. Her father was supposed to begin occupational rehab that week. Instead, his blood pressure had dropped sharply, and his doctors had to rush him into surgery once more. Connie looked like she had aged another five years since they left the house that morning. Reluctantly, Penny left her at the hospital with Kim, praying they wouldn't get into another argument while her father was still unconscious. She scrubbed her tears away as she drove home to take care of the never-ending farm chores.

She had just changed into her barn clothes, as she thought of them, when she heard the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway. Peeking between the gap in the curtains, she saw a yellow taxi idling in their driveway. She frowned. Was the taxi driver lost? She certainly wasn't expecting any visitors and didn't want any either. From the way Leonard had sulked, she was sure he hadn't come back. She was just about to head downstairs and find out what was going on when she saw a long arm clad in a Members Only jacket push open the back door of the cab. She froze in complete astonishment, staring in shock as Sheldon Cooper unfolded his lanky figure from the cramped backseat of the taxi.

"Holy crap on a cracker," she swore. What was her crazy Pasadena neighbor doing here? He was the absolute last person she had expected to show up on her doorstep. After all, right now her life revolved around hospitals, emotional crises and farm animals... three things she was sure Sheldon either hated or feared with a passion. She jogged down the stairs, out the door and across the porch.

"Hello, Penny," was all her crazy neighbor said as she emerged from the house.

"Sheldon, what are you doing here?" The way she drew out the vowels in his name made him suspect she wasn't happy to see him. He hoped he could change that.

"I've come to fulfill my obligations as a tier-one level friend," he responded.

She groaned aloud and swore none too quietly. She couldn't help it, and besides, she never worried about sparing Sheldon's feelings. That was one of the best (and worst) parts about being friends with him. She never needed to mince words with him, but the other side of that coin was that he never failed to say exactly what was on his mind either, often in the most unflattering terms.

"No offense, but what could you possibly do to help? And don't tell me you left Leonard on his own with a broken foot," she added reproachfully.

"No, I... persuaded Raj and Howard to assist him as needed. Once I informed Gablehauser I was taking a leave of absence, he was all too happy to agree that Leonard could work from home if he wanted. He will also assign a grad student to assist him until he is fully mobile again."

Penny blanched at the "kill Batman" grin and slight hesitation before he said "persuaded". Whatever he had done, she was better off not knowing.

"In addition..." he said, then paused. "Penny, what I am about to tell you is not a secret, but neither is it common knowledge. My Pappy owned a cattle ranch, and I spent several summers there with my grandparents until he got sick. I may be afraid of birds, but I can handle myself around cows."

"Sheldon, I can't let you use up your vacation time helping my family," she protested.

"It's already a _fait accompli_ ," he said. "A done deal, you might say," he added at her confused look.

Penny closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against her eyes. When she opened them again, Sheldon was removing his luggage from the trunk of the cab and counting out exact change for the taxi driver.

"All right, fine... I don't have time to argue with you," Penny sighed. "It's chore time right now. If you go upstairs and look in my brother's room, you should find some old clothes that you can muck out stalls in. Consider this your trial run."

Penny turned on her heel and strode off toward the barn. Sheldon, after a slight hesitation, picked up his suitcases and headed into the house. As Penny started her work, she realized that she had been every bit as rude to Sheldon as he often was to her. She hoped that emotional exhaustion was just as valid an excuse for her behavior as social cluelessness was for his. In a few minutes, Sheldon joined her in the barn, his bony wrists sticking out past the sleeves of her brother's old shirt.

She put him to work, and he did better than she'd thought he would. He touched the cows no more than necessary, but he murmured soothingly as he hooked up the milkers and dodged the switching tails with a deftness that spoke of experience. He struggled to lift the hay bales, but then again, Penny couldn't imagine he had much more muscle tone than her cousin Jeb had.

When all the chores were finished, Sheldon grimaced down at his dirty clothes and boots. "Good Lord, I'm in desperate need of a shower," he grumbled. Penny chuckled, then stopped, surprised that she could still laugh about something.

"Come on, sweetie, let's get you cleaned up," she said, still smiling. Maybe having Sheldon around wouldn't be so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

During dinner, Sheldon was mostly silent as he listened to the conversation between Penny and her mother, Connie. He didn't know any of the people they gossiped about, nor did he wish to. When talk invariably turned back to Wayne's condition, he did have a few pertinent questions. Since he was using the proper medical terminology, neither Penny nor her mother could answer his queries. All they knew for certain was that Wayne was recovering nicely from his second surgery, and his doctors were cautiously optimistic.

Sheldon wrestled with his conscience—or rather, his codified list of reciprocal actions for a tier-one friendship—and concluded that he was under no obligation to inquire after Wayne's medical prognosis. However, there seemed to be some internal urging that he do so. Curious. He didn't have hunches and he didn't believe in instinct, yet the odd feeling remained. After a moment, Sheldon came to the conclusion that it must be some unidentified emotion. Since he believed he was _Homo novus_ and above petty things like emotions, he decided to ignore it.

Waking up early the next morning to do chores wasn't difficult for Sheldon; the hard part was getting out of bed. Muscles that he hadn't known existed were screaming in protest at the unfamiliar abuse. He took a brief hot shower, which seemed to take the edge off his pain. Penny was already in the barn when he got there, yawning and bleary-eyed as she did the chores by rote. Sheldon felt he was even less effective than yesterday, but he contributed what he could, too tired to even have the energy to complain about his sore muscles. Afterward, they trudged back to the house. Sheldon offered to make the eggs (he'd had her cooking before), and Penny made toast and coffee. They ate in relative silence, punctuated only by requests to pass the salt or the coffee pot, but it was a companionable silence. Looking over at Sheldon, Penny was once again struck by the thought that they seemed like an old married couple, although never in her wildest dreams had she pictured Sheldon on a farm.

After breakfast, Connie and Penny left to go to the hospital. Visiting hours at the hospital started at nine AM. Sheldon did the dishes and then powered up his laptop. Being on vacation didn't mean one could slack off, at least, not if that one hoped to win a Nobel Prize. But Sheldon was used to his whiteboards, the broad pristine expanse, the heady sharp smell of the markers and the way they squeaked as he jotted down his ideas. Giving up on work, he logged onto his favorite online shopping site and ordered a pair of whiteboards, two easels, and a dozen markers in assorted colors. The idea that he could set them up in Kim's old bedroom and turn that space into a temporary office made him feel very much not unhappy. Soon enough, the farmhouse would feel more like home. Now what could he do about their patchy internet service, he wondered. As he attempted to settle in for an indeterminate length of time, Sheldon found plenty to occupy himself until Penny and her mom returned home.

The second day passed very much like the first one. Sheldon helped Penny with the morning chores, they ate breakfast together, and then Penny drove her mom over to the hospital. Sheldon spent the morning setting up Kim's old room to function as a workspace. By lunch time, he had everything arranged to his satisfaction in the optimal configuration for the shape and size of the room. He breathed a sigh of relief as he surveyed his work. Most people seemed to plunk down furniture any which way in a room, or worse, according to some principle of aesthetics which eluded him. The only aesthetics he appreciated was decorating a space with a few favorite things, like his Green Lantern figurine or the Batman cookie jar. But now that he had both a bedroom and an office (a luxury he didn't have in Pasadena), he was prepared to stay for as long as his tier-one level friend required his help.

Penny and her mom returned around four in the afternoon, just in time for Connie to start dinner and Penny to help with the barn chores. Sheldon was by this point aching all over, but he persisted as much as he was able, and even allowed himself more than his usual ten minutes in the shower under the spray of hot water. By dinner time, he was unable to disguise his pain as he gingerly lowered himself into his chair at the kitchen table.

Penny grimaced in sympathy. "Did you hurt yourself, or are you just sore?"

"Apparently, there is an excess buildup of lactic acid in every major muscle group in my body," Sheldon complained.

Connie frowned as she set a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table. "Did you take anything for it?"

"He doesn't like to use medicine unless it's an emergency," Penny said quickly, hoping to forestall Sheldon explaining his weird ideas about medicine.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to take her hint. "When I moved to California, I promised my mother I wouldn't do drugs," he elaborated.

Privately, Penny wondered if she should have kicked him under the table.

"Of course, your mother doesn't want you to do drugs," Connie said. "As you know, I've had plenty of heartache from my son. He's been in and out of jail the last ten years because of drugs. But if you don't mind me saying so, young man, you're nothing like my Donnie in that respect, and you can take that as a compliment. I'm sure someone as smart as you must know your mom didn't mean for you not to take medicine if you're sick or hurt."

"Hey, that's right," Penny chimed in. "You made me rub Vaporub on your chest when you were sick. That's sort of like a drug."

She was looking at Sheldon, and so she missed the look of surprise on her mother's face.

He retorted, "Vaporub is not a drug because you do not ingest it."

"But didn't your mother give you any medicine as a child? Unless you're one of those weird religious types," Connie added disapprovingly.

"The only religion Sheldon follows is putting himself on a pedestal," Penny snickered.

To Penny's surprise, her mother rounded on her. "That's no way to treat a guest, Penny," she said sharply. "Especially not one who's done so much for us." Penny found herself squirming under her mom's glare and was forcibly reminded why at the age of eighteen, she had been so eager to leave Nebraska.

"Sorry," she muttered guiltily.

Connie wasn't done. "And as for you, young man, you can clear up this nonsense right after dinner. How long has it been since you called your mother last? I'm sure you have no idea how much she misses her children when they move far away from home."

This last part was obviously directly at Penny, but Sheldon ducked his head and muttered, "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now that that's settled, eat up before your dinner gets cold," Connie said as she passed a bowl full of buttered peas.

After their meal and under Connie's sharp gaze, Sheldon called his mother. As predicted, Mary Cooper had no intention of her son ever taking her words so literally. Then, of course, she wanted to know what made him decide to call and ask her about it now, instead of waiting for his regular monthly phone call. When he told her that he was staying at Penny's family farm in Nebraska to help keep the dairy running, Mary was speechless. Thinking quickly, she asked him to put Penny's mother on the phone. He obeyed reluctantly, but after several minutes when Connie handed his cell phone back, her only comment was that his mother was a sweet lady who was worried about her son.

Penny was waiting for him at the kitchen counter with a glass of water and a few reddish-brown tablets in her hand. "I washed my hands before I got your pills," she said drily, and Sheldon was so rattled by the tag-team attack of his and Penny's mothers that he found himself thanking her.

She beamed at him. "Wow, I think that's a first. But really, I should be the one thanking you. You've been a huge help. But don't you miss your physics and science-y stuff?"

"I ordered whiteboards and the appropriate accoutrements yesterday. I was planning to set them up in your sister's old room, unless you think your mother would have some objection?" Sheldon looked rather nervous at the thought of another confrontation with Connie.

Penny shook her head. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I just didn't think you were going to stay that long."

Sheldon licked his lips nervously. "I already told you about my Pappy and how he used to own a cattle ranch," he began. "What I didn't tell you was that I was also there to see what happened to all his hard work when he became ill. He had hepatic cancer, and I watched as he got weaker and my Meemaw struggled to keep the ranch going. She brought in hired hands, but none of them loved the place like my Pappy did. They kept losing money, and the hospital bills kept piling up. I loved my Meemaw and Pappy more than anyone else in the world, and there was nothing I could do to help them."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry," Penny said. She laid a hand gently on his shoulder, and he didn't pull away.

He continued, "Although no one has sought my opinion, I believe that your mother is in a similar situation. I came here because I am no longer a helpless child. You are one of my closest friends, and if there is something I can do to help, then I am obligated to do so." Then he added very softly, "I want to do so."

He heard a sniffling sound and turned to see Penny, eyes glimmering with unshed tears, launch herself at him. She hugged him tightly and tried to thank him incoherently through her tears. He didn't care to have people touch him (let alone get bodily fluids on him), but seeing as she had been moved to tears by his generosity, he supposed he would allow it. So he patted her shoulder and back gingerly and murmured, "There, there, Sheldon's here."

Finally, she pulled away and wiped her face with the back of her hands. "My mom was right. I shouldn't have been giving you a hard time earlier at supper. So how 'bout I make it up to you?"

Sheldon was intrigued. "What did you have in mind?"

She handed the remote to him with a laudably calm expression. "You get to pick what we watch tonight."


	5. Chapter 5

Not surprisingly, once Penny had ceded him the remote control, Sheldon immediately turned to the Sci-Fi channel and was soon engrossed in some futuristic space show. Penny joined him on the couch and had to admit it wasn't as bad as she'd thought. There were just as many female characters as men, and they were strong, interesting roles. Also, the people on the show were just people: no one running around wearing bad prosthetics or crazy makeup. Connie joined them briefly in the den after cleaning up supper, but after a few minutes, she left, saying she would rather go read in her bedroom. Penny shook her head in amusement at that. It wasn't that long ago that she wouldn't have willingly sat through a sci-fi show either, but "her boys" had grown on her.

When the show ended, Sheldon made as if to rise but then sank back onto the couch with a groan. Penny eyed him sympathetically. "Did you take some ibuprofen?" she asked.

He nodded. "I have taken the recommended dose, but it is proving to be ineffectual."

"If you're still sore, you need to take more than two," Penny protested.

He glared at her. "You have already ganged up on me with my mother and overwhelmed my long-held principles. I absolutely refuse to overdose on drugs."

Penny snickered a little at that, but she did feel badly for him. He was suffering on account of her family, one of the most selfless things she had ever known him to do. She had to help. "You've tried a hot shower, right?"

"Yes, and I have found that remedy to provide some limited relief, but I am still in pain."

Penny reached over, grabbed a throw pillow from off the couch, and tossed it on the floor by her feet. "There's one thing you haven't tried. Come on over here and sit on this pillow."

He eyed it warily and didn't move. "What in tarnation do you think would induce me to sit on the floor?"

She fought back a smile at his old-fashioned figure of speech. "I'm going to give you a back rub. It'll loosen up your muscles a lot more than hot water does, I promise."

"That sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching," he grumbled.

"Actually, since you came to help and you're so sore you can barely move, I'd say it's very necessary toughing," Penny countered, unable to suppress her smile any longer.

Sheldon considered, but he couldn't deny her logic. Every so often, Penny would surprise him by coming up with irrefutable reasons why he should do exactly what she wanted. This was one of those times. He stood with a wince and carefully lowered himself on the pillow as instructed.

"Good. Now just face forward and watch your show," Penny said as she started to smooth her hands over his shoulders. Her touch was irritating at first and made him feel twitchy. Then she started kneading his back with more pressure, and Sheldon couldn't help the moan of pleasure that escaped him. After a few moments, she said, "Do you mind taking off your shirt?" Her face heated as she realized how that sounded. "I mean, I know you always wear a t-shirt underneath, so..."

Sheldon hesitated only a moment before he unbuttoned his flannel shirt, folding it neatly. Underneath, he wore a white v-necked t-shirt, and a dark thatch of chest hair showed at the cleft. Penny allowed herself a brief glance of feminine appreciation. Leonard's chest hair was sparse and patchy. She didn't like guys that were too hairy, but Sheldon seemed to have just the right amount to make him look masculine, as she well knew from the Vaporub incident. She blushed a little as she recognized the direction of her thoughts, but her boyfriend was far away, she was lonely, and as the saying went, looking is free.

As she worked out the knots in Sheldon's back, he relaxed until he reminded her of a cat in a patch of sunlight. His eyes were half-closed, and every so often, he would let out a little moan as she kneaded a particularly stiff muscle. She didn't stop until the credits were rolling on his show, and then she said, "Wow, my hands are starting to cramp up. How do you feel?"

"Like Ah've died and gone to heaven," he said in a thick Texan drawl. He was completely relaxed. He had even closed his eyes and was only listening to the last ten minutes of the show. Penny laughed, and his eyelids popped open as he jerked upright. Had he really just said that?

"First a thank-you and now a complement? Holy crap, sweetie, you ought to visit the sticks more often." Before he could respond, she added, "I think it's time for bed. It's ten o'clock, and morning comes awfully early on a farm."

Sheldon found himself curiously reluctant to move, but Penny held out her hand. He took it without thinking and found himself pulled to his feet. Once again, he was surprised at how strong she was, although this time, he had no desire to tease her about her mannish hands. He had a new appreciation for what those broad hands could accomplish, and besides, they were still smaller than his.

The next day after the morning chores, Sheldon walked around the house and barn and made a mental list of everything that was broken or needed maintenance. He had never met Penny's father, but surmised he was a proud man. He had most likely been struggling to keep up with all the work the dairy required for years. Sheldon mused that someone would also have to drive him around the pastures so he could examine the fences. He wondered briefly, if he could manage to drive Wyatt's pickup around the farm. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad. He could go as slowly as he wanted (because of ruts and potholes, of course), and there was nothing he could hit except the occasional fence post. The cows would have enough sense to get out of the way.

He found Wyatt's workshop, where all the tools were neatly organized on pegboard and every type of nail, bolt and screw had its own drawer in battered gunmetal gray cabinets. Sheldon immediately felt at home in the space, even though he wasn't too handy with a hammer or drill. He gathered what he needed to fix a few smaller projects. He was soon relieved that Penny and her mom weren't home. Some of the simplest seeming tasks ended up involving a lot more work than he thought. He remembered that when his dad had tried to fix things around the house, it always seemed to require a good amount of cussing. Now, he began to understand his dad's frustration. Nevertheless, he persisted. By the time for afternoon chores, he had four minor repairs completed and another mental list of things he needed to purchase from a hardware store.

He groaned as he straightened. He was sore and stiff, and caring for the "girls" was going to be miserable work. He had been assiduously taking the ibuprofen Connie had given him, but they were only taking the edge off his pain. It seemed there was no help for it but to ask Penny to give him another massage later. He had only to think of how relaxed he felt after she had worked her magic to actually start looking forward to it.

* * *

A/N: Okay, this chapter's kind of short, but there will be another one soon!


	6. Chapter 6

By the end of the first week, the three of them settled into a comfortable if quiet routine. Connie spent every moment of visiting hours at the hospital with her husband. Penny was also at the hospital a lot, but on her father's better days, she tried to give her parents some time alone together. She also needed the time to do grocery shopping and run errands. She was the youngest of her siblings and had never lived under so much responsibility. So far, she seemed to be handling it well. Knowing Penny's lifestyle in California, Sheldon was couldn't help but be impressed. Every evening after dinner, the two of them would watch TV before an early bedtime, while Penny's mom would usually read upstairs in her room. Thanks to nightly massages from Penny and the judicious use of painkillers, Sheldon was starting to adjust to the physically demanding work of a farm hand.

In the mornings, Penny was mostly silent as she worked alongside Sheldon in the barn. He didn't mind; silence not only didn't bother him, he preferred it. Yet somehow it disturbed him that Penny was so quiet here. She was his cheerful, bubbly, voluble neighbor. Her ability to blather on about shoes and reality TV shows was a part of who she was, and he wasn't sure he liked how she had changed. Of course, he had gone from being a germaphobic theoretical physicist to an exceptionally clean farm hand (he couldn't keep from getting dirty, but he could shower frequently) who pondered the mysteries of the universe while mucking out stalls.

During the daytime, Sheldon often had the farm to himself, and this suited him just fine. As he moved through chores, his hands were busy but his mind was free to concentrate on his research. It took some time, but he got used to picturing the equations in his head instead of writing them out on a whiteboard. He actually came up with several intriguing new lines of thought. He took a break every day to write down his best ideas on the whiteboards set up in Kim's room. Several of his ideas involved astrophysics, and he found himself wondering if Raj would be willing to act as a sounding board. He might even agree to assist with some of the work, since Sheldon knew that his recent research on objects in the Kuyper belt was yielding no results. Soon, Sheldon was Skyping Raj a few times a week, and their brainstorming sessions were very productive. Sheldon was occasionally so focused on his work that he forgot to eat, even though there was always a lunch packed and left for him in the fridge. When Penny scolded him for not eating, he knew who had been taking care of him. It gave him an unusual feeling, knowing that she was so concerned for his welfare. He tried to tell himself that she did so because her family so desperately needed his help, but the truth was that she had always looked out for him. He was well aware of how his friends usually reacted to his quirks and compulsions (with exasperation, annoyance and insults), so he never understood how Penny was always so considerate of him. Perhaps it was only natural that he thought about her more and more with every passing day.

* * *

One day, Penny returned to the house mid-morning with a trunkful of groceries. As she finished putting the food away, she was surprised to see Sheldon walking past the house, carrying her dad's battered old tool box. Curiosity got the better of her, so she ran outside and caught up with him.

"What are you doing?" she asked curiously.

"I have noticed that the water spigot at the rear of the barn is leaking and apparently has been doing so for some time. If left unchecked, the water will eventually cause the floorboards to rot, so I am going to repair it."

"Oh." She considered for a moment. "Want some help? I'm pretty good with hands-on stuff."

"An extra pair of hands may be of some benefit," he agreed. He gave her a strange, sidelong glance that left Penny wondering what he was thinking.

Unfortunately, five minutes into their task, they discovered that the fittings around the faucet were corroded. The pieces had essentially glued themselves together with rust and mineral deposits. Penny drove Sheldon to the hardware store where she watched curiously as he picked up several bits and pieces which included various lengths of metal pipe.

"Are we relocating the faucet?" she asked in confusion. "And why are you using metal? I thought PVC would be better since it won't corrode."

He turned toward her with a pleased expression on his face. "Very good, Penny. You are right about the PVC. However, I am not planning to relocate the water line. This pipe will serve as a lever which will provide me with the appropriate amount of torque in order to remove the corroded fittings. The longer the handle, the less direct force I will need to apply in order to get the job done," he explained.

She still looked slightly confused, so he grabbed two screwdrivers, one with a long shank and one with a short stubby shank, and placed them in her hands.

"Here," he said, wedging the blades of both under a heavy box of bolts. "Try to lift the box by pushing down one the screwdriver handles. The one with the longer shank will require less effort to move."

She did as he instructed, and an amazed smile spread over her face. "Hey, you're right. That's really cool! How did you do that?"

"Penny, that is rudimentary physics. I have just demonstrated to you the basic principle of mechanical advantage."

"But I actually got it this time. I understood it," she said, beaming up at him. "I was always totally lost whenever anyone tried to explain this kind of stuff to me before."

Sheldon paused midway in the act of returning the screwdrivers to their appropriate bins on the shelf and stared at her curiously. What Penny had said earlier was pithy, but essentially correct. She had always been good at "hands-on stuff", whether that was dancing or junior rodeo or using her body to convey emotion through acting.

"Have you ever been evaluated to determine your learning style?" he asked abruptly.

"Yeah, my learning style was falling asleep on my books and hoping that some of the stuff would soak in while I was sleeping," she said sarcastically, making a face. Only her crazy genius friend would think of an idea like being evaluated for a learning style, whatever that meant.

"That process is called osmosis, and of course it doesn't work, as you no doubt found through experience," he replied.

 _Aaand now we're back to the insults_ , Penny thought wryly.

"I believe that you may actually be a kinesthetic learner. You probably did fairly well in school as a young child. But as tactile learning decreased and was replaced by lecture-style teaching, you started to tune out. I would make an educated guess that you loved experiments and field trips, and your favorite subjects were art and physical education."

Penny shrugged. "Isn't that true of all the dumb kids?"

"No, the traits I mentioned are true of kinesthetic learners. Just now, physics made sense to you when you participated in an activity which demonstrated the concept. You have always excelled in physical activities such as acting, dancing, sports and rodeo. Your current profession of waitressing keeps you moving almost constantly. Furthermore, you are always touching people as a way of showing affection. Some estimates say that less than five percent of the population are kinesthetic learners, so that learning style is often given less emphasis in a typical classroom setting. For you, listening to a lecture or reading textbook material would be challenging for you, to say the least. Your material might as well have been written in a foreign language."

Penny frowned thoughtfully at him. "So what are you saying? What good does it do me to know that I learn differently?"

His eyes shone at her in his excitement. "Don't you see, Penny? It means that you are far more capable of learning and assimilating information than you previously thought. You are not dumb. In fact, if you could find a way to adapt your studies to your kinesthetic learning style, I see no reason why you should not be able to obtain a bachelor's degree if you wished."

She looked at him with an odd expression on her face, then without warning, she stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She raised up on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "Hearing you say you believe in me almost makes up for everything I've gone through in the past few weeks. Thank you, sweetie." She let go of him, wiping at her eyes and quickly walked away, muttering about finding a tissue.

He watched her retreat, certain that something had changed between them but unable to say what it was or how he felt about it.


	7. Chapter 7

Penny drove her mom to the hospital the next day after chores, and for about half the trip, Connie had been unusually quiet. When she did speak, what she ultimately had to say shocked her daughter.

"Your friend's been here for over a month now," Connie began.

Penny glanced over at her mom, wondering what was on her mind. "I know, it's been a long time. He's not driving you crazy, is he?"

Connie smiled a little as she shook her head. "Heavens, no. I don't know what we would have done without his help. He certainly has his little ways, but he's clean and quiet and that makes him easy to live with."

That must be the first time anyone's said _that_ about Sheldon, Penny thought sarcastically, but she held her tongue out of respect for her mother's wishes that she be nice to Sheldon.

"It's not every day you meet a young man who's willing to go to such great lengths to help out a friend," her mom continued. "In fact, I would say what he's done isn't the actions of a friend at all."

"What are you talking about? Of course he's my friend. Trust me, Sheldon's not really the kind to go around helping out random strangers," Penny objected.

"I mean that for all that you treat him like a child sometimes, he is a man. I'll bet he knows a good thing when it's right under his nose. No man would leave a high-paying, high-falutin' job to work as a farm hand unless he had something else in mind. Has he said anything to you yet?"

Penny listened to her mother in growing horror as she realized what she was saying. "Holy crap, Mom, you've got it all wrong! Sheldon would never, I mean _never_ , do anything like that. The only reason he's here is because he's got this list of rules in his head that he's got to follow. Besides, I'm still dating Leonard. Just because he went back to California doesn't mean we're not together anymore."

"Are you sure? How many times has he called you since he left?"

Penny ground her teeth and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "That doesn't matter. So we had a little argument. Everything's fine between us. In fact, I'm going to call him tonight."

Her mother pursed her lips and frowned. "Whatever you think is best, dear."

Penny knew that this was universal mom-speak for "I think you're ruining your life but I'm claiming the moral high ground by not pointing it out to you." She bit the inside of her cheek and reminded herself that her mom was under a lot of stress. It didn't help much, so she pressed down a little harder on the gas pedal, hoping to get to their destination sooner.

* * *

Penny did call Leonard that night. She tried not to be pissed off at him for making her be the one to cave and call first, but she probably didn't succeed. Whatever the reason, he didn't sound all that thrilled to hear from her. After exchanging a few banalities about his healing foot and her dad's health, there was a lull in the conversation. Penny was just about to say "I miss you", more to fill the silence than anything else, when Leonard blurted out, "I have something to ask you."

"Okaaay," she said warily. This didn't sound good.

"Suppose, hypothetically speaking, that a guy and his girlfriend were sort of on a break and this girl that he used to hook up with came into town and he met up with her, would that be considered cheating?"

Penny had had a bad feeling from the moment he said "hypothetically speaking". "I guess that depends. Did he run into her at the mall or did he have dinner with her?" she asked pointedly.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and then Leonard said, "Neither."

"Well, why don't you tell me, _hypothetically speaking_ , exactly what this guy did?"

"Um, he uh... well, the girl kissed him. It wasn't his fault," he said in a rush.

Penny felt like she was seeing red. "So what did the guy do then?"

"He, um, he may have ignored his better judgment and taken what was offered."

Penny felt cold all over. "What the hell does that mean?" she demanded.

"I didn't mean to. Please, you've gotta forgive me. I love you," he whined.

" _What did you do_?" she asked, spacing every word out with infuriated deliberation.

"Raj's sister Priya came to town and we used to hook up behind her brother's back and it was really fun to be sneaking around so she said we could just fool around behind your back too but I felt really guilty so I had to tell you," he blurted out breathlessly.

"You slept with her?" Penny asked numbly. At this point, it didn't really matter; cheating was cheating whether someone cheated a little or a lot, but she had to know.

"Um, technically, there wasn't any sleeping going on," Leonard hedged, then he sighed heavily and confessed. "She came to see me at Caltech, and we ended up having sex on my desk. Please don't dump me. I'm really sorry."

Penny hung up. She wanted to slam down the phone, but it was a cell phone, and throwing it across the room would just mean that she would have to pay several hundred dollars for a new one. Instead, she sank down on her bed and stared at the wall as tears began to roll down her face. She wasn't sure how much time had passed before there was a triple knock at her door, and she heard Sheldon calling her name in triplicate. She didn't answer.

Finally he called through the door, " _Battlestar Galactica_ starts in four minutes. Are you coming down?"

She opened her mouth to say no, but what came out was a sob. She covered her face with her hands, and so didn't see or hear Sheldon enter until she felt a weight settle next to her on the bed. He patted her shoulder and said, "There, there, Sheldon's here" and suddenly, she was clinging to him and bawling like a baby. When she finally cried herself out, she looked up to find him looking pale and stricken.

"I am very sorry for your loss," he said. He had tensed up and appeared ready to bolt out of the room at the slightest provocation.

"What?" She frowned up at him, and then recalled his words: "your loss". Clearly, the only reason he could think of for her crying her heart out was that her father had passed away. She could only imagine what terrible memories must be surfacing for him, and how much it must have cost him to try to comfort her.

"Oh. Oh no, sweetie, it's not my dad. He's fine," she said, wiping her eyes. He sagged visibly and actually leaned against her. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of leaning against his flannel-clad chest, listening to his heart beat. Now that she was thinking about her dad, it reminded her strongly of the way he used to hold her when she was a little girl. She always felt safe and loved in his arms. Being held by Sheldon brought those happy moments so vividly to mind that she was reluctant to spoil the moment, but she knew he deserved an explanation.

"Leonard cheated on me with Priya," she said slowly. She heard his deep inhalation before he sighed.

"I always suspected that the two of you were ill-suited for each other," he said. Penny kept her eyes closed and listened to his voice start as a bass vibrato inside his body before it emerged as a lighter tenor. He kept talking, of course, and Penny stayed right where she was. She knew that her boyfriend had just cheated on her and then further insulted her by thinking she would forgive him just like that. She should be feeling hurt or furious, but instead, all she could think of was how reassuring it was to have Sheldon's arms around her. When he left, having stayed up a half-hour past his bedtime to comfort her, she was able to give him a genuine smile as she said good night.

After another week, neither of them had heard directly from Leonard, although Raj had complained to Sheldon that Leonard was now regularly "violating" Priya. When Raj had tried to forbid them to see each other, Priya had just laughed at him and started taunting him about some of his most embarrassing childhood moments. When Penny heard about that second-hand through Sheldon, she began to understand why Raj couldn't talk to women without drinking. She started to think that maybe Leonard and Priya deserved each other.

Sheldon wanted to ask Raj what to make of his strange interactions with Penny, but he didn't know how to bring it up. It would have been hard to make his friend understand how different Penny had become, not that his own adaptations were any less startling. She kept the fridge stocked with food and cooked dinner; he mucked out stalls. She stayed in at nights and watched sci-fi with him; he drove Wyatt's truck around so he could inspect fences and round up cattle. She was starting to understand the fundamentals of physics, and he was beginning to respect her. Most baffling of all, when she curled up next to him on the sofa, it made him nervous even as he wished she would draw closer. Many nights, he would exaggerate his claim to sore muscles just so he could sit on the floor at her feet while she gave him a massage. He didn't understand why he reacted to her like this. He usually hated being touched, but as was the case in so many other areas of his life, Penny was the exception to his rule.


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon had been starting to complain that his flannel shirts (which were actually old ones left behind by her brother) must have shrunk in the laundry. He seemed baffled by this as he would never allow anyone else to do his laundry, so he had no one to blame but himself. Penny, who still gave him back massages on an almost daily basis, knew exactly why his shirts were no longer fitting. She thought about telling him that all that physical labor had caused him to put on muscle, but it was too much fun to watch Mr. Genius IQ act completely clueless. So she hid her amusement while he tested the temperature and hardness of the water coming out of her parent's hot water heater and switched laundry detergent brands several times.

Finally, he decided there was nothing for it but to buy some new shirts. They went to the local department store, and Penny wandered off to look at the shoe section. It didn't take her long to scan the cheap knock-offs, and she had a sudden urge to browse her favorite websites for sales on Louboutins and Jimmy Choos. She didn't, of course. She had managed to scrape together enough money to send a check to her landlord for the first month she was absent, but she didn't know what she was going to do for this month.

By the time she made her way back to the men's department, she found Sheldon in the midst of a heated argument with a store employee. Or rather, Sheldon was the one arguing, and the employee, a young woman in her teens, was cringing away from his verbal onslaught. She groaned, realizing that just because he had fit himself into the routine at her parent's house didn't mean he wasn't still bat-crap crazy underneath.

It didn't take long for her to figure out what the problem was. As soon as she understood, she knew that she was partly to blame for this particular hissy fit of his. She had been secretly laughing at his cluelessness over the "shrinking" shirts behind his back, knowing that it wasn't really a nice thing to do. It certainly would have earned her a lecture from her mother. Now because she had let the situation drag out the way it had, Sheldon had the unfortunate store employee close to tears by telling her that all the shirts in the store were sized too small. He was arguing that he was a medium; he had _always_ been a medium since his last growth spurt when he was sixteen years old. Clearly, he argued, the store was trying to pawn off shoddy workmanship and products of inexcusably poor quality on the unfortunate people who had no other options than to shop at this pathetic excuse for a mercantile.

At this point, Penny grabbed his arm and pulled him aside. He glared at her furiously, and she tossed an apologetic glance at the tearful employee before she clapped a hand over his mouth and hustled him into a nearby dressing room stall.

"Will you shut up!" she cried. "That poor girl couldn't have been more than seventeen, and she has nothing to do with how the shirts are made. You've just made her day miserable for no reason at all except you're being a stupid blind idiot!" Furious, she grabbed two fistfuls of the front of his hard-worn flannel shirt and yanked hard. Fabric ripped and buttons caromed off the flimsy paneled dividers of the dressing room.

"You ruined my shirt!" Sheldon growled as he gripped the torn edges of the shirt and tried to pull them closed them over his white undershirt. He took a step closer to Penny until their bodies were almost touching. His hands were twitching convulsively as if he desperately wanted to take some sort of action.

"It's not even yours; it's Bobby's old shirt, so keep your pants on," Penny retorted, although ripping off Sheldon's shirt and having those blue eyes staring down into hers was making her heart beat faster. She struggled to concentrate on why she was mad at him. She reached out and spanned his upper arm with both hands, feeling hard muscle flex underneath her palms.

"You've filled out. You're not going to fit into a medium any more. It's been obvious to me for a while, but I didn't say anything. I thought it was kind of funny seeing you get all worked up, thinking your clothes were shrinking." She shook her head and let her hands drop. "I hate to say it, but my mom was right. I shouldn't have made fun of you. I'm not in high school any more, and I should stop acting like it."

He stared at her for a long moment before speaking. "Apology accepted. I suppose that you are not entirely to blame since I am the one who overlooked gradual changes to my own physique."

One side of her mouth raised in a sarcastic smirk. "I'm not entirely to blame?"

"I'm willing to admit that the fault was thirty percent mine, if you will go and fetch me garments of the appropriate size."

With that, Penny was right back to being mad at him. "You will apologize to that poor girl who works here-that is, if she's not crying her eyes out in a ladies room somewhere. And I may do some things doggie style, but no way in hell am I going to fetch anything for you."

Sheldon was staring down at her, his eyes so dark they appeared black. He ran the pink tip of his tongue along his lips. Her eyes tracked the motion, and she imitated it unconsciously. She should never have made that "doggie style" comment; it had probably gone straight over Sheldon's head, but it was causing her imagination to go into overdrive. There were so many times that he'd gotten her riled up, but it was usually from anger. Now she was acutely conscious of the sexual tension that crackled in the air between them.

"Fine," he said, sounding more distracted than angry. "If I see the female store associate, I will apologize." The word apologize seemed to stick in his throat a little, but he managed to get it out. "Now that you have torn my shirt, will you go get me some others to try on? Please," he added grudgingly.

When he had started speaking, Penny had a confused moment where she had totally forgotten what they were talking about. The way he was looking at her made her heart leap into her throat, and so she found herself quickly agreeing with him so she could exit the dressing room. Once outside, she counted back in her head and realized it had been three weeks since Leonard cheated on her, and almost twomonths since they'd slept together.

 _Holy crap on a cracker_ , she thought. _I definitely need to get laid if even fighting with Sheldon is starting to be a turn-on._

Penny decided then and there that she would go out as soon as the weekend came. There wasn't much to do in a small farming community like this one, but she was sure she could find a local watering hole with music, dancing, drinks, and some big brawny guy to help her get over this dry spell.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, here is a nice long chapter to make up for the brevity of the previous one.**

* * *

"Hey, Sheldon, it's Friday night. I'm going out. You don't wanna come with me, right?"

He stared at her uncomprehendingly. "But there's a _Doctor Who_ marathon tonight. You wouldn't want to miss that, would you?"

"Actually, yeah, I would," she answered. "I'm starting to feel cooped up in this house. I need to go blow off some steam."

Sheldon frowned. He imagined that Penny's idea of blowing off steam involved drinking, dancing and perhaps going home with a stranger for a one-night stand. He felt frustrated. Everything had been going so well between them, and now she had to mess up their perfectly arranged routine. And from the way she spoke, she had no intention of him tagging along, not that he wanted to. He just didn't want her to revert back to her former self. He liked this more mature version of Penny, who was responsible and not completely hopeless at understanding physics. It made him angry that she wanted to undo all of her progress.

"If you become intoxicated, you should call for a taxi rather than attempt to drive your own vehicle," he said coldly.

She flushed and stared for a moment, then snapped, "Don't worry; I probably won't be coming home until tomorrow morning."

He watched unhappily as she stormed off. By the time she tripped back downstairs in heels and a scandalously short dress, he had tuned in to the _Doctor Who_ marathon. He pretended to be so engrossed in his show that he didn't even notice her, but he was well aware that she paused by the doorway before leaving.

After Penny left, Sheldon tried to focus on his show, but the thought of Penny out drinking with strange men kept distracting him. After several more minutes, he found that his attention was still wandering from his beloved show, something which had never happened before. Unwelcome visions of Penny carousing and allowing some drunken lowlife to feel her up kept flashing through his mind. Every time, he gritted his teeth and refocused on his show, only to find his mind wandering back to Penny a few moments later. _This is intolerable_ , he thought irritably. _Now she's even found a way to ruin Doctor Who_. Finally, he switched off the ancient tube set with a huff. It was completely incomprehensible, but he couldn't enjoy his show knowing what she planned to do. In fact, the more he thought about it, the stronger his need became to confront her about her inconsiderate behavior. Finally, he stood up, switched off the television, grabbed his Members Only jacket and nervously took down the keys to Wyatt's truck. Inhaling deeply, he told himself that all he had to do was imagine the paved roads were rutted dirt tracks and that the other cars were rather fast-moving cows. That way, it wouldn't seem that much different than driving around the pastures.

He made it into town without incident, only to realize he had no idea where Penny had gone. After enduring unfriendly stares in the first three bars he entered, calling Penny's name loudly, he did something he knew she wouldn't like: he hacked her phone's GPS to locate her. It was child's play for a genius like himself, and in less than two minutes, he had an address. Once he knew where she was, getting behind the wheel again was almost a relief. But he still had no idea what he would say to her when he got there.

Twenty minutes later, he eased Wyatt's battered old truck into a parking spot at an establishment known as Curly's. Wyatt's pickup blended right in with a row of vehicles of a similar type and condition. It reminded him, in a not unpleasant fashion, of his hometown in Texas.

When he walked into the bar, it took his eyes a moment to adjust to the gloom inside compared to the low bright rays of the setting sun. Penny was sitting at a small table by herself with a half-full shot glass in front of her and the bottle next to it. He tilted his head, unsure of what he was seeing. _Why was she sitting by herself_ , he wondered. She glanced up and then did a double take as he approached.

"Sheldon, what are you doing here? What happened to _Doctor Who_?"

He shrugged as he pulled out a chair and sat down, careful not to touch the sticky tabletop. "I've seen it before. In fact, I could quote every episode from memory."

A wicked gleam came into her eyes. "I dare you to take a shot and then try it. Last time you got trashed, you had no idea you mooned the whole audience at the awards show." She giggled. "I would have paid money to see that."

He paused while he digested that statement. "You would pay money to see my bare buttocks?" he asked in astonishment. Her only response was to laugh harder, leading him to wonder how much she had already had to drink.

Frowning slightly, he said, "I thought you were planning a night of debauchery, so why is it that you are sitting here unaccompanied?"

Her giggles died down, and her shoulders slumped. "See that guy over there? Tan lines on his left hand ring finger-he's married. In the corner? That jackass tried to feel up the waitress. The guy at the bar? I knew him in high school-enough said. And those three over in the booth? Ugh." She shuddered for dramatic effect. "I'd have to be a lot tipsier than this to go home with any of those losers."

He frowned again, trying for the first time to really understand her. "Will that improve your emotional state, to become inebriated in order to have coitus with someone who is not otherwise appealing to you?"

She shuddered again and downed the rest of her shot. "Not in the long run. But I just want to cut loose and not have to think about stuff like my dad being in the hospital and my mom needing me to help at home."

He considered his options. For some reason he couldn't explain, he didn't want Penny to go home with some stranger, especially not one she couldn't tolerate when she was sober. An idea was beginning to form in his mind. He wasn't sure it would work, but he was compelled by the same unnamed impulse which had led him to abandon his sci-fi marathon and drive around town looking for her. So he picked up the bottle on the table between them and carefully poured another shot. All the joy seemed to leach out of her as she watched him fill the glass. As he set the bottle down, she reached for it. His hand shot out and grabbed hers, trapping it in a warm, firm grasp.

Her eyes, now full of confusion and misery, flew up to search his face.

"This isn't for you; this is for me," he explained. Before he could change his mind, he quickly downed the shot and then started coughing and wheezing as it burned its way down his throat.

"What? Why are you doing this?" she demanded.

Recovering, he replied, "You wish to have a good time and enjoy yourself by getting intoxicated and having coitus with a random stranger. I am offering you an alternative."

Her mouth dropped open, and she immediately turned very red as she stammered, trying to form a response.

"I accept your dare," he continued.

"My dare? Oh, the _Doctor Who_ thing... right," Penny breathed. Although he could be mistaken, Sheldon thought she seemed relieved. Her cheeks were still very red as she nodded. "I thought... holy crap, never mind what I thought. Okay, go ahead. I wanna hear if you really can say the whole thing. Just the words, though," she added quickly. "Otherwise we'll be here all night." She knew Sheldon well enough to know that if he started describing every visual from the episode, a 45 minute show would stretch to a few hours or more.

Sheldon started out well, but before he got halfway through the episode, he was starting to mix up lines. In the background, the beginning chords of a popular country song sounded.

Penny whooped with delight. "I love this song!" she yelled. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward the dance floor. "Come on, dance with me!" she begged.

Sheldon opened his mouth, fully prepared to say that he didn't dance, when he noticed two things (besides the flush of pleasure on Penny's cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes). The first was that the couples already on the dance floor were moving synchronously in lines. The second was that he was familiar with the steps of the dance. He was abruptly reminded of a time in his childhood when he had been trying to read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time. He kept getting distracted by Missy, who was whirling and stomping in the living room. Most infuriatingly, she was muttering under her breath: "Back, clap, forward, heel, tap, turn..." as she tried to learn the steps. Now Sheldon realized that he may actually owe his twin an apology as he lined up next to Penny with the full knowledge of what the dance steps should be, even if his movements were awkward and ungainly. He made it through the song without tripping over his own feet, or anyone else's, and counted it a success. After the song, the dancers clapped and cheered. Penny ran to the bar and was soon back with two brown bottles. She shoved one into his hands.

"Want something to drink?" she yelled over the loud music.

He frowned at the bottle in his hand. "I would prefer water."

"Sheldon, I'm not going to ask them for water. This is a bar," she complained.

He immediately deposited the beer into her hand and strode off to the bar. Five minutes later, the bartender looked ready to punch him after explaining for the umpteenth time that his opinions didn't make any difference; the bar didn't stock bottled water. If he wanted water that badly, he was told, he could go drink from the tap in the men's room. He didn't even bother to try to hide his shudder of disgust at that suggestion. With a shrug, he gave up arguing and returned to Penny. He drank a few swallows of his beer, grimacing at the foul taste.

Penny laughed delightedly. A few minutes later, she was laughing even more as she had somehow coaxed him out onto the dance floor again. Feeling a warm glow, he grinned down at her. He may look foolish, but it was a small price to pay to see her so happy. When the music changed to a faster rhythm, she pulled him off the dance floor.

"I need another drink," she said.

She disappeared and in a few moments, reappeared with a Stetson in her hands. She plunked it on his head with a broad grin. "There. Perfect!"

"Where did you get that?" Sheldon cried in horror, snatching it off of his head.

"Oh, you know, I just grabbed it off the nearest redneck," she grinned, enjoying his germophobic panic for a moment before relenting. "There's a couple of ten-point buck heads mounted in the hallway on the way to the bathrooms. Someone put hats on them years ago, so I borrowed one. They might be a little dusty, but you won't get cooties from them."

She picked up the hat and settled it on his head once more, then grabbed his hands and tugged him into a standing position. Her gaze wandered over him from head to toe and back up again. "You look... hot," she said at last. "Like you belong here. That hat is... well, it's a darn sight sexier than that suit I made you buy for that awards banquet."

Sheldon could remember the way she had looked at him in that charcoal gray suit, and the expression on her face now was even more awestruck than it had been then. It was the way any man would want a woman to look at him. It made him want to stand a little straighter, to stick out his chest and take her in his arms. He couldn't even imagine where that strange impulse had come from. He gazed down at her, feeling like the world had spinning around him. She was so... the word _beautiful_ hardly did it justice. Vibrant, full of life... the sparkle in her eyes drew him like a moth to a flame. Hardly knowing what he was doing, he leaned in closer. Her eyes were huge and dark as she tilted up her face toward his, but then something flickered in her expression. The next thing he knew, she had shoved at his chest, pushing him away.

She pulled in a long shuddering breath. "You're drunk," she accused.

Before he could frame a response (and what would that have been? _I know_? _I did it for you_?), she ran off toward the ladies room.

Sheldon turned away, feeling decidedly bewildered. He caught the eye of a man sitting at the bar nearby. The man lifted his hand and described an arc that dove straight down toward the countertop while whistling on a descending note. "Better luck next time, man," he said. Sheldon stared at him in confusion.

"What're you implying?" he asked. That last word came out sounding more like "imblyin", and Sheldon tried to enunciate a few more times without success.

The other man (possibly the one Penny had identified as the one from her high school, although oddly enough, he couldn't remember at the moment) shook his head. "She's hot, but she's way out of your league."

Sheldon was dumbstruck, something that almost never happened. He sank down onto the vacated barstool, completely unmindful of the germs which must be proliferating on the grimy surface. What had that unhelpful person been talking about? He felt like he ought to know, but he just couldn't seem to focus long enough to puzzle it out.

Penny reappeared at his side as he was still trying to figure it out. Her eyes were puffy and reddened, but she seemed calm as she dug her keys out of her purse.

"Let's go. I'm driving you home."

"I drove myself here," Sheldon protested, his tongue tripping over the words.

"That's scary enough when you're sober. I don't know how you managed. You panic whenever there's other cars around."

"Had to find you," he explained.

A fleeting expression crossed her face, then she shook her head. Tugging on his arm, she maneuvered him upright and draped his arm across her shoulders. "Okay, you found me, and now we're going home."

They made their way toward the exit, a task which was complicated by the fact that Sheldon kept tripping over his own feet. They passed the man at the bar, and he gave Sheldon an exaggerated wink and a thumbs up. It seemed appropriate to return the gesture, so Sheldon did so even though he had no idea what it meant.

The next thing Sheldon remembered was waking up in his borrowed bed in Kim's room. Bright sunlight pouring through the window made his head pound. He groaned and covered his eyes with one hand. When he peered out carefully, he found a glass of water and a couple of aspirin on the nightstand next to him. By the time he was feeling well enough to get up, he realized that the house was completely silent. There was a note waiting for him, propped up on the bathroom counter. It was from Penny, and it read, "Thanks for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you. P.S. The morning chores are done. Hope you feel better." He reread the note several times over, trying to discern if it was expressing mere gratitude or something more. Finally, he folded up the note carefully and placed in his shirt pocket, acutely aware of the symbolism of keeping it close to his heart. He left it there anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

The strange tension that had sprung up between them hadn't dissipated over the past week. Sheldon tried to make sense of it as he loaded the bed of the pickup truck with fence posts, a coil of barbed wire, the post holer and some other tools. For the seventh time in the last hour, he checked his watch. It was nine o'clock on a Saturday morning, and Jeb still hadn't shown up. With every passing minute, the temperature was rising. He knew that Penny had wanted him to wait until her cousin arrived to start repairing the fence, but he felt she was underestimating him. After all, it was hardly a two-man job if one of the men was actually a skinny fourteen-year-old. He was in tune enough with the rhythm of the farm to know that it was unhealthy for the cows to be pent up in the barn for long periods of time. It also stressed the cows, which caused them to produce less milk. As much as he could tell, the farm was in too much of a financial mess to let even a little thing like this go unattended. Another motivating factor was that Penny's dad was finally coming home on Monday. For some reason, Sheldon felt the need to prove himself to Penny's dad, something which would not happen while the farm had a broken fence that let the cows wander into the neighbor's fields.

Shaking his head, he got behind the wheel. He couldn't imagine how Wyatt had ever kept things going as long as he had without help. It was certainly too much for him to handle on his own, and he was thirty years younger. He drove carefully down the rutted dirt lane. At least Wyatt was coming home soon. Penny's dad still had weeks of outpatient therapy ahead of him, but it would make both Connie and Penny much happier to see him home again. He also hoped that he could start to earn the man's trust so he could advise him about keeping or selling the farm. He had some ideas which might work if Wyatt was willing to think outside of the box a little.

Sheldon was already uncomfortably hot and sticky by the time he parked the truck near the damaged portion of the fence. He was glad to leave his long-sleeved shirt in the truck for now, although he would need it later to protect his arms from the barbed wire. Grabbing the shovel out of the truck bed, he set to work digging out the old fence posts. Then he piled the splintered posts to one side and filled in the old holes. The next step was the one he truly wished he could postpone: digging the new holes with the post holer. He plunged the tool's narrow blades into the compacted ground then pried the long handles apart at the top to remove the soil between the scoops. It took over an hour until the new holes were dug and the fresh posts had been tamped down.

The morning sun had long since burned off the haze hanging over the pastures, but it was still miserable hot and humid. Sheldon had long since drained both of the water bottles he had brought with him. He was starting to get a throbbing headache, but the job was almost done. He hopped up onto the back of the pickup to reach the coil of barbed wire and almost overbalanced and pitched forward. _That would be excessively foolish if I were to repeat Leonard's mistake of injuring myself while trying to help_ , he thought crossly. Putting a hand on the gate to steady himself, he climbed down carefully, but the ground suddenly seemed to lurch under his feet. He dropped the spool of wire and took two more steps before the world seemed to tilt. The last thing he remembered was hearing a thud. He wasn't aware that it was the sound of his own body hitting the hard ground.

* * *

There was a loud, persistent beeping noise, and something cold was placed against his forehead. It was too much; he felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to push the cold thing away, but his arms felt like they were weighted down with lead. There was a sharp pain in the crook of his arm, and then everything went away. The next time Sheldon managed to open his eyes. He was feeling more lucid although still confused. He opened his eyes slowly to see a worried face with short dark hair hovering over him. There was an IV pole with a clear bag of fluids in his line of sight, along with a heart rate monitor. Sheldon wasn't thinking too clearly, but he appeared to be in a hospital. He opened his mouth, but only a rough moan came out.

"Oh good, you're awake," the boy said. "Penny would kill me if anything happened to you."

Sheldon frowned weakly, and then winced as it felt like someone had smashed his skull with twin mallets at either temple. "Jeb." He couldn't manage to say anything more.

Jeb nodded and grinned, then his face fell. "I'm sorry I was late," he said, his lower lip starting to quiver. "I just... I stopped by the pond to do a little fishing and I lost track of the time. And I hate putting up fences. I just thought... I mean, I didn't think. You got hurt trying to do it all yourself, and it's all my fault," he whimpered.

Sheldon winced. "S'okay," he managed. It wasn't really, but he could hardly blame the kid for not wanting to spend his Saturday morning doing manual labor. Plus, all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and rest, and Jeb was still trying to apologize. The sound of voices from somewhere beyond Sheldon's line of sight had the boy jumping up nervously.

"That's my Aunt Connie. I hafta go explain to her before Penny gets a hold of me," he said, and then dashed out of the room. There was a brief commotion out in the hallway, and then Penny entered. Just seeing her made him feel a little better, and he struggled to sit up from the slightly elevated angle of the hospital bed.

She rushed over to his side. "No, sweetie, don't try to get up; just rest," she said. Her face was very pale and there were shining tracks of moisture down both of her cheeks. She dragged the back of her hands across her face, smearing her makeup. She sank into a chair beside his bed.

"What were you thinking?" she wailed. "Do you have any idea what it did to me to have Jeb call and say he found you passed out in the field? Thank God he decided to call an ambulance. The doctors say you had heat stroke and that it could have been really bad. You could have died—or had brain damage. I don't know which would be worse. How could you do this to me? To be back here in this hospital... this same damn hospital..." Her voice broke and she looked away as fresh tears fell.

Sheldon was thinking it was monumentally unfair that he was getting yelled at (or at least scolded) while he was lying in a hospital bed, especially since the reason he was here was because he was trying to help her.

"Penny..." he began.

He was about to try to tell her that she had gotten all worked up over nothing, but it was too much of a lie for him to be comfortable saying it. Instead, he reached for her hand and held it, willing his presence to somehow comfort her. She gave him a watery smile as she held his hand up to her face and then kissed it gently. His breath caught in his throat, and that dratted monitor gave him away as it started beeping faster. She gave it a startled glance, then looked back at Sheldon. Her eyes were huge and dark. She leaned closer and laid her free hand alongside his face, caressing his cheek. Quickly, he closed his eyes, fighting his reaction to her touch. His eyes popped open again when he felt her hair brush his face, and he saw her face just inches from his. He was too nervous to do anything to either help or hinder her as she kissed him, her lips touching his in the lightest of caresses. His hand tightened on hers, and his pulse jumped as he strained to lean into her caress. Sweet... she was sweet like honey, and a wave of heat washed over him.

She pulled back, and there were two bright spots of color on her cheeks as she searched his face. He felt like cursing the weakness which prevented him from taking her in his arms as he wished. The best he could manage was to reach out and tug on her arm, pulling her down to his level. She was radiant with happiness as her lips found his once more.

* * *

Connie peeked into the hospital room. Her eyes widened as she saw her daughter kissing the young man who had done so much for their family, and then she smiled smugly. It was too bad that it took a near accident for Penny to come to her senses, she thought, but better late than never. She closed the door softly and backed up, motioning Jeb into one of the plastic chairs which lined the hallway.

"We'll just give them a few minutes," she said triumphantly.

She had been right about Sheldon all along, and she couldn't be more pleased about the way things had turned out. Although her husband had been anxious for his younger daughter to settle down with Leonard, Connie had always been less enthusiastic about the match. It was true that Leonard was a nice guy with a good-paying job, but Penny had never lit up from within when she mentioned his name. As far as Connie could tell, Penny had been reluctant to let him go but not really convinced he was "the one". Now any fool could see how happy Penny was, and after all, many of the deepest romances started on a foundation of friendship. Penny had said once that she and Leonard had been friends before they dated too. But it was obvious to Connie that the self-deprecating young man had been hanging around in what kids nowadays liked to call the "friend zone", always eager for whatever scraps of attention Penny might throw his way. A relationship based on such unequal footing was bound to fail.

Five minutes later, Connie peeked through the narrow window again to see her daughter sitting by Sheldon's bed, holding his hand. Her eyes were shining fever-bright, and he was looking at her as if she were an angel come down from heaven. Connie gave a discreet cough as she entered the room. Penny looked up, blushing like a middle-school girl with a crush. Her mother noted this with secret glee, but kept her face neutral.

"Hello, Sheldon. It looks like you're feeling a little better," Connie said. "How's your head?"

"It's fine… I mean, yes, I do feel better. Thank you," he replied, looking a little dazed.

"Jeb and I both feel so bad about what happened. You've got to promise me you won't be taking any more foolish risks with your health."

Sheldon frowned. "I find myself completely unable to regret this morning's events. In fact, given the outcome of said events, I believe I would choose to repeat them regardless of the incipient danger to my health."

Penny squeezed his hand. "Don't worry, Mom. I promise from now on he'll be more careful. I'll make sure of that," she said, smiling tenderly down Sheldon. She then glanced up briefly at her mother, and a look of understanding passed between them. Connie smiled and nodded ever so slightly.

"Well, I can see the two of you don't want an old woman like me hanging around. I'll be over in the other wing visiting your father. Ever since they told him he could go home, he's been chafing at the bit to get out of here. Jeb can come with me; he'll be a good distraction for Wyatt. I'll just give you a call when we're ready to leave." With a smug look at the two of them, she left the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Sheldon was feeling nervous. He wasn't completely unfamiliar with that feeling, but the cause of it was new to him. He was about to meet his girlfriend's father for the first time. His apprehension stemmed from the sudden change in his relationship with Penny. When he had shown up on the doorstep of her parent's farmhouse, his only intention had been to assist Penny and fulfill what he saw as his obligation. Yet looking back on his actions, he wasn't sure he would have gone to such lengths for Howard or Raj, or even Leonard. There had always been something unique about Penny. She filled a role in his life that no one else ever could. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that in some small, subconscious part of his brain which he ignored, he had always had feelings for her. That being the case, he was certain that the obligations of a boyfriend visiting his girlfriend's parents were quite different than that of a friend helping out. He was fairly certain that, had he been dating Penny when he arrived, social convention would have dictated at least one visit to Wyatt in the hospital. Even though he had never dreamed he would end up in a relationship with Penny, the sense of a missed obligation ate at him.

He heard a car door slam. Looking out the window, he could see Penny and her mother helping Wyatt out of the car and up the steps to the front porch. Penny's dad looked small and stooped, but he tried to wave off their assistance. He was grinning happily as he walked up to his front door. "There was a time I thought I'd never see this place again. It's so good to be home," he said, squeezing his wife's hand. Connie beamed back at him.

Sheldon made his way downstairs with a reluctant backwards glance at his whiteboards. He'd been too nervous to concentrate on his work today. He made his way down to the living room, where Wyatt had been ensconced in a recliner and was being fussed over by his wife and daughter.

"Hello, Mr. Larson, sir," Sheldon said. He had paused at the threshold, unwilling to cross that invisible demarcation.

"Sheldon, is it?" Wyatt asked. "I hear you're dating my daughter now."

"Yes, sir," Sheldon nodded. "That is correct."

"I liked the other one better. What was wrong with Leonard?" Wyatt complained, turning to Penny.

To Sheldon's surprise, she fidgeted uncomfortably. "Daddy, don't give Sheldon a hard time. It just didn't work out with me and Leonard."

Sheldon peered at Penny in confusion. "He cheated on you," he protested, taking a few steps closer to the family tableau.

"What? That whiny little bastard! I'm gonna rip him a new one!" Wyatt struggled to get up, turning red in the face.

"Stop it! The only one you're going to hurt is yourself," Connie scolded her husband sharply. "It's over and done, and I think Penny's better off now."

Connie eventually succeeded in calming Wyatt down. During the commotion, Penny hissed in Sheldon's ear that this was why she hadn't told her dad the truth behind her breakup with Leonard. He replied that he wouldn't have done anything to jeopardize her father's health, and although she was still annoyed, she accepted it as an apology.

After he was settled comfortably in his chair, Wyatt was eager to talk to Sheldon about the way things had been going on the farm. This was much more familiar territory for Sheldon, and he spent the better part of an hour telling about the work he had done. He even credited Penny as being partially responsible for all the repairs made around the place. He tried to explain his the theory of kinesthetic learning to Wyatt. It wasn't obvious how much the older man understood all the terminology Sheldon tossed out, but he agreed that Penny had always been athletically gifted.

As they talked over the next few days, Sheldon won over Penny's dad both with his work ethic and his intriguing ideas to make the farm turn a profit. Wyatt was astonished to learn that there were organizations which would give him a grant to help convert the dairy to organic production. He had been running his dairy mostly chemical-free for years anyway. Now it was just a matter of getting the right certifications and finding a new distributor for his products. Penny and Connie were both amazed at how much Wyatt's enthusiasm seemed to speed his recovery. In a week, Connie was treating Sheldon like he was both a saint and her son-in-law.

It made Penny a little nervous, to tell the truth. She knew the saying that opposites attract, but was there such a thing as _too_ opposite? Yet every time she started thinking she was too stupid to belong with Sheldon, she remembered his praise and encouragement as she started to grasp physics through object lessons. And every time she thought he could never fit into her world, all she had to do was look at him, dressed in jeans and flannel shirts and working alongside her to milk cows or fix the tractor. He'd even gone dancing with her, and she couldn't forget that he had left a Doctor Who marathon to keep her safe from her own destructive impulses.

The one part of their relationship that wasn't quite lining up was the physical aspect… or lack thereof. After he had kissed her in the hospital, she had assumed that he would be okay with kissing at the very least and maybe more than that. After all, he knew exactly why she had gone out to that bar—she'd wanted to get laid without any emotional attachments. She knew it was a mistake, and she was glad he had stopped her. But now she had a boyfriend who refused to do any more than give her a few brief, chaste pecks. When she asked him about it, he said he was courting her. Of course, she had no idea what he meant. He explained that he had asked her father for permission to spend time with her under the chaperonage of her family. In his mind, that meant that he chose to tone back the physical aspect of their relationship in favor of getting to know each other better. When she retorted that her parents already seemed to love him, he asked her how _she_ felt about him. The question left her speechless.

"The purpose of a courtship is to acquaint a family with the man's character so that they will feel comfortable with his ability to care for and protect their daughter," he explained.

Penny frowned. She leaned the pitchfork she was using to muck out the stalls against the barn wall and turned to face him, arms crossed defensively. "I don't need you to take care of me. What's the deal with the old-fashioned ideas?"

"You know my mother raised me with certain expectations of gentlemanly behavior. I admit that I have strayed rather far from some of those principles, especially in pursuit of my academic goals. But I have no experience in dating, nor do I wish to. With all due respect, I have seen you jump in and out of casual relationships, and I am certain that lifestyle is not for me. Courtship implies a more serious motivation."

She paled. "How serious?"

He sighed, wishing that this particular conversation could have happened after they had been together for months instead of a few weeks. "The goal of a traditional courtship was to facilitate the integration of the man into the woman's family. He declares his intentions to her family, and unless the woman rejects him, the courtship eventually leads to marriage."

"Holy crap." In shock, Penny sank down onto a nearby bale of hay. "Did you really tell my dad you wanted to marry me?"

"Not in so many words, but it was strongly implied."

"And he was okay with that?" she screeched.

"He told me that he was extremely grateful for all I'd done for him and his family, but that you were an adult and would make up your own mind. I assured him that I understood the choice was entirely yours, and then he wished me luck." Wyatt had also looked him in the eye, shook his hand, and called him "son". Sheldon had been more moved by that gesture than he thought possible. His own father had too often been emotionally absent, even borderline abusive at times. Having Penny's dad approve of him fulfilled a need he hadn't realized he had.

Penny jumped up. "Sheldon, I don't want to marry you." She saw the stricken expression on his face and tried to backpedal. "I don't want to marry _anyone_. I'm only twenty-four; I've got my whole life ahead of me yet."

"So you wish to spend more time getting drunk, having casual assignations with strangers, and throwing away your meager salary on overpriced fripperies? I can't understand the appeal of any of those activities, nor do I wish to participate in them. If that is truly the direction that you wish your life to take over the next several years, then I believe we are at an impasse."

"Oh, come on, Sheldon. You know that's not what I meant," she protested.

He sighed. "No, I don't know what you meant. Emotional subtleties elude me, so I prefer that you speak plainly. Your family no longer needs my help as much as before, so if you no longer wish to be involved with me, say so and I'll return home."

She winced and dragged a hand across her eyes. After a long pause, she patted the hay bale she was resting on. "Come sit next to me," she invited. The words and gesture reminded him of the first day they had met. She'd sat in his spot on the sofa and then asked him— _him_ and not Leonard—to join her. Thoughts of Leonard brought to mind how his clingy neediness had driven Penny away. There had to be some middle ground. Much as he hated the idea, he may have to compromise.

"I'm not breaking up with you, and I don't want you to go home. Can't you understand that it's just way too soon to be getting serious?" she asked him.

"I'm not in any hurry to make that kind of change to our relationship dynamic either. In fact, I would very much prefer not to be having this conversation so early in our relationship, but I can't lie to you, and a refusal to answer your questions would have a similar deleterious effect."

Penny sighed and looked down at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. "You can't just decide stuff like that, I mean like getting married. I know you think you're like Spock with no emotions, but I have to go with what I feel."

He reached out and tilted her chin up to look him in the eye. "Do you really believe that leaving my job and my home to work as an unpaid farm hand for three months was a rational decision?"

Her eyes widened. "I thought you did that because you had to... you know, that tier one thingy."

"Certainly that is what I told myself at that time, but I'm not sure I would have done so for anyone else, not even for Leonard. Perhaps I am better at self-deception than I am at lying."

"You mean, maybe you had feelings for me all along?" she gasped.

He nodded. "I consider that a distinct possibility."

"No one's ever done anything like that for me before," Penny said quietly. She looked at him adoringly. Resting her hand on his shoulder, she leaned in and kissed him gently. She pushed down all of her sexual frustration and just focused on showing him how she felt. His hands rested at her waist, and she reveled in even that small indication of interest from him.

After a few minutes, he drew back, although he took her hand in his, which made it seem less like a rejection. "I believe we can agree that there are certain aspects of a romantic relationship in which we both need more time," he said.

She nodded mutely, feeling dazed. He pulled her to her feet and held her hand as they walked toward the barn door. Just before they reached the entrance, he stopped and brushed his lips against hers in a brief but tender caress. She hardly knew or cared where she was going as he led her back toward the house. At this rate, she was going to either spontaneously combust or forget her own name.

Inside the house, he was once again the perfect gentleman, but every time their eyes met, Penny thought she might swoon. How was it that after years of casual dating and too frequent one-night stands, this man could make her toes curl with only a look? Something had changed for her since Sheldon's confession. The idea that he might have had feelings for her, far longer than he had let on, had begun to break through the wall she had built around her own heart. For years, she had only been in relationships to have sex on a regular basis and to let the guy pay for stuff she needed. Now, she began to experience a deep connection with Sheldon like she had never known before. She became more patient with him, and she stopped pressuring him for further intimacies. Instead, they talked, laughed and worked together. Without even realizing it, Penny was falling a little more in love with him with each passing day.


	12. Chapter 12

Summer was drawing to a close. In the two weeks since he had been released from the hospital, Wyatt's health had improved dramatically. The timing was fortuitous, because Sheldon had received an ultimatum from Gablehauser, demanding that he return before the fall semester started at Caltech if he wanted to keep his job. He and Penny had their flights booked, and they were leaving in just a few days. Sheldon had given their impending departure a great deal of thought. Knowing that they would soon be subjected to the critical scrutiny of their friends, he had secretly planned what he hoped would be a romantic date for the two of them before they returned home.

"Where are we going?" Penny asked excitedly as Sheldon slowly drove her dad's old truck over rutted back roads.

"I understand that there is a bluff a few miles from here which offers excellent views of the surrounding countryside and is considered quite picturesque."

"Oh, you mean Sader's Hill? Yeah, it's the local make-out spot. I used to go there all the time in high school." She watched the muscles in his face twitch and cursed herself for saying the wrong thing.

He kept his eyes on the road. "I see," he said at last. "Apparently, I did not anticipate that you would have a previous romantic association with that particular geographic area."

Penny's face felt hot, and she wished for the thousandth time that her past was a little less complicated. For his sake, she quickly came up with a plan B. "I know another place we could go. The view might not be quite as nice, but... you know." She couldn't bring herself to say that this place was different because she'd never had sex in the back seat of some guy's car there.

He agreed quickly and followed her directions. They wound their way around a low hill and down a weed-choked dirt track until they reached a clearing with a small log cabin and a wooden picnic table.

"This land used to belong to my grandpa, my dad's father," Penny explained. "When he passed away, a friend of the family bought it for hunting. He only comes up here for deer season, and he says we're welcome anytime the bullets aren't flying."

"How very accommodating," Sheldon said drily as he glanced around.

She took his hand and led him past the clearing. They climbed down the side of the hill over some rocks until they came to a place where the trees thinned out. They were looking out over a wooded valley. A few birds circled lazily in the sky, and the wind ruffled through the treetops. Penny found a rock that was more or less flat on top and sat down, pulling her boyfriend down beside her. They sat in silence for a long time, drinking it the beauty of the pristine scene before them.

"I love it here," Penny said dreamily. Her head was on Sheldon's shoulder, and her fingers were interlaced with his. She felt like she could stay there forever, exactly like they were.

"I love you," he replied.

She jerked upright. "What?"

"It's true. I wanted you to know," he said matter-of-factly. "I know you've been frustrated about my insistence to not advance our physical relationship under your parent's roof. That's why I wanted to take you out somewhere special today, so we could be alone. But whatever happens, I needed to let you know how I felt first."

Penny's eyes widened as she realized what he was saying, that he was willing to compromise his principles (or at least find a loophole in them) for her. Her response was awkward but honest, another way that dating Sheldon had changed her. "I really like you a lot, honey, you know that. But I can't say I love you because it's just too soon."

He grinned at that, taking her by surprise. "You wouldn't be my Penny if you gave up that easily. You're a fighter-that's another thing I like about you. Besides, I think you're already in love with me; you just won't admit it yet." He tugged gently on her hand, drawing her closer. Her arms went around him as he kissed her with more passion than the chaste affection he showed her at her parent's farm. Soon, she was sprawled across his lap, fully aware of his growing arousal. She was fighting her urge to rip off both his clothes and hers, certain that at least one of them would regret allowing their relationship to progress too fast. So she backed off and pressed light teasing kisses down his neck. When their breathing had slowed and she lay cradled in his arms, she voiced the question that was on her mind. "Sweetie, I need you to tell me something. Are you a virgin?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "Yes. It's one of those things that makes me relieved that my father isn't around anymore. He never knew what to do with a son who loved physics instead of football. I'm certain he would have enjoyed teasing me about being a twenty-seven-year-old virgin."

She hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry about that, sweetie. No one has the right to treat you that way. I can't say that I wish I was a virgin too, but I regret treating sex like something fun to do on a Saturday night. I wish I hadn't had all those one-night stands because they make me feel cheap, and I think you deserve better," Penny said wistfully.

"This is not a case of what I deserve, but what I want," Sheldon replied thoughtfully. "And what I want happens to be someone just like you... someone who is kind and loyal and determined and beautiful, who makes me question whether I'll disappoint _her_ by my lack of experience."

She rolled over onto her side so she could look into his eyes. "The fact that you want me enough to even think about sharing that part of you is the greatest gift you could ever give me."

* * *

They left for California two days later, and during all that time, she had nothing more than hand-holding and chaste kisses from Sheldon. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that his actions proved his respect for her. For him, the words 'I love you' weren't just something nice to say or a way to keep her around. He loved her enough to trust her with his heart, and now he was showing another side of that love by treating her with respect in front of her parents. She knew it was respect and not fear because of the way Sheldon interacted with her dad. Sheldon never hesitated to express his opinions, and she could tell her dad respected him for that almost more than for his brilliant ideas. She smiled to herself. Sheldon had done the impossible: not only keeping her parents from bankruptcy, but giving them a solution that might actually allow the farm to turn a profit. Despite his quirks, she knew she was falling in love with him. It was a scary thought, and something she wasn't near ready to voice aloud. She had followed her heart before, only to have it broken. While she believed she could trust him, old habits were hard to break.

Their last days on the farm flew by, and before Sheldon knew it, he and Penny were sitting on a plane on an airstrip outside the Los Angeles airport, waiting to disembark. He took a deep breath, knowing he was running out of time. In a few minutes, Leonard would meet them outside of the baggage claim to drive them home, and he still hadn't figured out a way to break the news to his roommate.

"Penny, I have something to tell you," he began slowly. "I haven't spoken to Leonard in three weeks."

"Three weeks? Oh no, is he mad about... us?"

"No," he answered truthfully, but even a lie by omission was enough to make him squirm uncomfortably.

She narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute. You did tell him, right?" Her voice rose an octave. "Sheldon, tell me he knows about us."

He looked away, muscles under his eye jumping wildly. Seeing this, she smacked her palm to her forehead and groaned.

"He has become excessively attached to Priya and has even said he wishes to marry her. Perhaps he will welcome news of our courtship."

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Yeah, that's why you can't bring yourself to tell him, because he'll be so thrilled. And will you stop calling it a courtship? We're dating."

"I have already made my position abundantly clear," he countered.

"Yeah, I know," she whispered, turning away. She felt so guilty, knowing that he was so certain of her that he was already thinking of marriage. He deserved so much better than her, maybe someone smart who could understand his research. Maybe someone who had waited for her one true love instead of sleeping with any guy who bought her a few drinks.

She turned back to Sheldon, who was still watching her with a hang-dog expression on his face. "If you're still sure about us, we'll talk to him tomorrow... together," she said reluctantly. She still had her doubts. Every day, she half-expected Sheldon to declare this whole dating thing had been a mistake and go back to being his former neurotic self.

Leonard seemed genuinely happy to see them both, although he acted a little awkward around Penny. He squinted up at Sheldon and said, "You look different. Funny how that button-down shirt makes you seem taller or something." Penny hid her smile. As far as she could tell, Sheldon had put on at least twenty pounds of solid muscle. She was both amused and annoyed by the fact that Leonard couldn't figure out what had changed about his so-called best friend.


	13. Chapter 13

Sheldon had every intention of letting Penny handle breaking the news to Leonard, but he had forgotten how inconvenient it was that he couldn't lie convincingly. After they said goodnight to Penny, Leonard started asking a few casual questions. Soon he got around to what was really on his mind: whether Penny started dating anyone while she was in Nebraska. Reluctantly, Sheldon answered in the affirmative, hoping that Leonard would let the matter drop. But he kept pressing for details until Sheldon was forced to reveal that he was the guy Penny was dating.

Leonard stared at him, then he started to smile. "This is a joke, right? Bazinga?"

"Penny said we would find a way to tell you together. I wish she was here. She would know what I should have said," Sheldon fretted.

Leonard watched him with a look of growing consternation on his face. "You can't be serious. Not Penny. We were going to have smart and beautiful babies together!" he wailed.

Sheldon watched his roommate's agitation in bewilderment. "I don't understand. If your feelings for her were genuine, then why did you cheat on her? Why didn't you attempt to win her back instead of pursuing a relationship with Priya?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Leonard said sarcastically.

"You're right; I don't."

"Fine. All my life, I've been mocked and belittled, even by my own parents. Penny was one of the first people I ever met who treated me like a human being. She knew I wasn't perfect, but she liked me anyway. I fell for her hard and fast, and I think some part of me will always be in love with her. But my childhood left me with a ton of baggage. Even when Penny and I were dating, it wasn't enough. I still crave attention and recognition from other people. I want every woman to find my brilliance irresistible, and every guy I meet to secretly wish he was me. You've never been jealous of me. You're taller and not slightly pudgy; you don't need glasses; you have a higher IQ and got your first PhD at the age of seventeen; and you can eat ice cream without clearing a room! This isn't about _me_ anyway. This is about the fact that my _best friend_ starting seeing my ex behind my back!" Leonard yelled. He paced around the room, and then came back to stare belligerently into Sheldon's face. "I don't get it. Why are you doing this? You do know you don't really have a chance with her, right?

Sheldon shook his head slowly. "If anything, this will likely prove that I am just as susceptible as any other man to a hopeless optimism where a beautiful woman is concerned. I have calculated the odds of long-term relational success between Penny and myself at less than eighteen percent."

Leonard frowned. "What's in it for you, then? Is it some twisted form of revenge on me for something you think I did? Because I've gotta say, you've never shown the slightest interest in a woman before."

Sheldon looked away. He began rearranging the magazines on the table in front of him, using tiny nudges to try to get all the corners lined up precisely. When he finally spoke, Leonard had to lean in to hear him. "I am experiencing a singular and very strong compulsion where Penny is concerned. I tried to ignore it. I tried to continue living my life the way I always had, but it was impossible. We are together now because I couldn't refuse her, regardless of how disastrously I think our relationship will end."

Leonard watched his friend continue to fidget with the magazines. Sheldon looked unhappy and was apparently clueless as to what was really going on.

"Are you in love with her?" Leonard asked quietly.

Sheldon twitched, skewing the line of his magazines. "I've never been in love before." He was still refusing to meet Leonard's eyes.

Leonard's heart sank. The truth was there, plain as day, in his friend's words. If he didn't love Penny, Sheldon would have said he'd never been in love, period. Suddenly, he found that he couldn't be mad at Sheldon anymore. His roommate was truly clueless when it came to understanding social nuance, so he probably hadn't been trying to be offensive. He slumped onto the leather sofa, trying to take in the idea of Sheldon in love.

"What if I wanted to get back together with Penny?" Leonard asked, to gauge his reaction.

Sheldon stared at him for a moment, despair etched into the lines of his face. "Is that your intention?" he asked quietly. "If so, I don't believe I could compete with you. I have absolutely no practical experience with relationships. Indeed, I find myself rather astonished that Penny hasn't grown tired of me yet. I know how tiresome and annoying all my friends find me," he added glumly.

Leonard immediately felt guilty for needling his friend, even as he realized that Sheldon must truly have changed if he was willing to confess ignorance, even if only in areas of social interactions. "I have to admit, it's not easy for me to see you and Penny together," Leonard said with a sigh. "But I care a lot about the both of you, so I'm going to find a way to make this work."

"Make what work?" Sheldon asked.

"You know, being friends with Penny after we dated, not taking it out on you because Penny seems to prefer you, and, uh, some stuff with Priya…" He stopped and ran a hand through his unruly brown curls. "I cheated on Penny with Priya, and then just the other day, I gave my number to a girl I met at the comic book store. _She_ came on to me," he added defensively, and then sighed. "I guess it's hard for someone like you to understand, but I'm in love with Priya already. We've only been together for a couple of months, but she's beautiful, smart, and funny… everything I've ever wanted in a woman. I want to marry her, but I'm scared I'm going to do something stupid to mess this up."

Sheldon nodded. "I have experienced similar thoughts about Penny. I'm not certain I am capable of maintaining a relationship, and my lack of experience in romantic forays is a substantial strike against me."

Leonard sighed. "I've given this a lot of thought, and I think I'm going to go see a therapist. And I think you should come too. We could go together—I mean not _together_ , together, like a couple—just for moral support, you know?" He realized he was babbling and closed his mouth.

"I can't imagine why you would think I would be interested in seeing a therapist," Sheldon began haughtily.

"Will you listen to yourself?" Leonard cried in annoyance as he jumped up off the couch. "You were just telling me that you don't know anything about relationships, that you expect Penny to dump you, but you won't do anything about it? Are you really just going to sit back and wait for the inevitable breakup so you can say 'I told you so'?"

Sheldon twitched and looked away. "I'm not crazy," he said in a low voice.

"Yeah, I know, your mother had you tested," Leonard finished the familiar phrase with a sigh. "Going to see a counselor is totally different. You and I both have issues that will ruin any chance we have at happiness unless we deal with them. I've already talked to Dr. Rivera, and she said she was willing to sit down and talk with me."

"You mean Dr. Angela Rivera, professor emeritus of the Caltech psychology department?" Sheldon asked.

Leonard nodded. "She's semi-retired now, but she's had over thirty years of experience as a therapist. She volunteers at a counseling center downtown, and she says she would fit me into her schedule. It would be nice to not have to go alone," he added wistfully. "Why don't you treat this like one of your research projects? Exhaust all possibilities before you're ready to admit defeat."

At the word "defeat", Sheldon's expression turned bleak. "I have already incorporated Penny into my life to such a degree that it would be… highly disruptive were she to leave. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation with a fellow professor."

"That's the spirit," Leonard cried. "Okay, I'm gonna go make us an appointment right now."

Sheldon stood, assuming that the conversation was over. Leonard took a few steps toward him.

"Uh… don't freak out, okay?" Leonard said, and then he gave his roommate a quick hug and stepped back.

"What was that for?" Sheldon asked, more confused than alarmed.

"Going to therapy with me, when I know how much you hate the idea? I get that you're doing it more for Penny than for me, but still… it's one of the nicest things you've ever done for me. If this is what dating Penny does to you, then I'm all for it."

"You're welcome," Sheldon replied, with enough of a rising inflection at the end to indicate that he was feeling uncertain.

Leonard gave him a lopsided grin. "It's okay, buddy. We're gonna be okay."


	14. Chapter 14

Sheldon and Leonard were on their way to their first counseling sessions with Dr. Rivera. As they approached the therapist's office, Sheldon became visibly agitated, with nervous tics and fidgeting. In the office, he tried to precisely line up the magazines and table lamps until Leonard snapped at him. Then he sat down next to Leonard, his limbs as stiff and rigid as if they were carved from wood. Leonard tried to get him to relax by talking to him in a low voice, with no discernable effect. He realized that he had never asked Sheldon what it had been like to have your own mother doubt your sanity. Clearly, it had left a deeper impression than he had ever imagined. After what seemed like an interminable wait, a middle-aged woman came down the hallway. She paused in the waiting room and smiled indulgently at the two of them.

"Don't worry, dearies, I'm sure Dr. Rivera can help you work out your problems," she said.

"Uh, thanks," Leonard said, then looked over at Sheldon and back at the woman. "No, wait, do you think we're… because we're not...together, I mean..." he stammered. But it was too late. The woman had already walked out. In disgust, Leonard got up and dropped into a seat on the other side of the waiting room, arms crossed over his chest. _The things I do for love_ , he thought sullenly to himself.

Just then, Dr. Rivera appeared. "Hello, Leonard. It's good to see you again," she said in a soothing tone, shaking his hand as he approached her. "And this must be your friend Sheldon," she added pleasantly, seeing that he was still sitting in the waiting room chair. Sheldon twitched but didn't look at her or shake the proffered hand. Her eyes widened just a fraction, but all she said was, "I'm ready for your appointment. Please come this way."

Leonard cast a last, nervous look at Sheldon before following her back to her office. A half hour later, he was back. "Your turn," he said to Sheldon. His friend gazed at him with a wide-eyed look approaching panic.

"Hey, it's no big deal," Leonard soothed. "You already know Dr. Rivera, at least a little. Just go on back and talk to her. You can start with something simple. It's more important to get comfortable with the idea of talking to her than it is to start unpacking all of your issues."

Sheldon swallowed hard, clenched and relaxed his fists, and then stood. "I don't suppose she wants to hear my latest hypothesis about string theory," he said weakly.

"I don't think so," Leonard replied. "Just remember why you're doing this."

Sheldon nodded. "Penny," he whispered to himself. He said her name two more times. Both her name and the repetition helped him to relax a little. Tugging on the hems of his double-layered shirts, he walked past Leonard and down the hallway.

* * *

Penny began noticing small changes shortly after Sheldon started counseling. For one thing, he began each date by complimenting her. It may have been routine, but at least he was making an effort. He also allowed her to choose their activity for every other date. Encouraged by these signs, Penny made more of an effort to be sensitive to his needs. She never tried to make him do something way outside his comfort zone (like the motorcycle lessons she had once given Leonard as a gag Christmas gift). One time, they walked into a restaurant she had chosen, and he started fidgeting. She wasn't sure what had set him off, but she just took him by the hand and said, "Let's eat somewhere else." Later, he explained that Dr. Rivera had challenged his irrational fears about food being properly prepared, and he had been trying to be less particular about where they ate. The restaurant in question, however, had just been written up last month for giving several patrons food poisoning.

When she heard that, Penny made a face and then thanked him. "You're right; I never would've picked that place if I'd known. How 'bout we just go back to my place and order Chinese instead?"

"Can we watch _Doctor Who_?" he asked eagerly.

She rolled her eyes, but secretly, she knew the show had begun to grow on her. "Sure, as long as we can cuddle on the sofa," she replied.

* * *

The counseling also had an impact on Leonard and Priya's relationship. At first, there had been tension between Priya and Penny, and because of that, for a time the two men spent very little time together. It was only when Sheldon confessed that he missed hanging out with Leonard (only he said it in Sheldon-speak, of course) that Penny knew that she had to find a way to get along with Priya.

Penny had kind of hated Priya at first. After all, not only was she the woman Leonard had cheated with, she was also beautiful, intelligent and successful. But one night, Penny was hanging out at the guys' apartment while Sheldon was leveling up in some online game. Priya showed up and had to wait as well, because Leonard was also playing. It didn't take long for the two women to start commenting on their boyfriend's quirks. Penny started giving Priya advice—a sort of "how to" manual for dating Leonard. The two women were soon laughing and getting along, ignoring the apprehensive looks Leonard, now finished with his game, was casting their way. But after a few minutes, Penny noticed how Leonard was squirming uncomfortably. She remarked that he was a nice guy and that nobody was perfect, and then changed the subject. Leonard visibly relaxed, and the ice was broken between Penny and Priya. The two would never become best friends, but Penny was willing to make the effort for Sheldon. After all, if the man could go to therapy to learn to be a better boyfriend, the least she could do was be nice to Priya.

Penny soon realized that Priya had her faults. She had such a terrible fashion sense that she needed to hire a personal shopper, and she was almost as much a control freak as Sheldon, without the excuse of being slightly neurotic. It made her realize that Leonard secretly likely accommodating someone who was demanding and difficult. That explained how he had remained roommates with Sheldon for so long. Now, he had found a woman who was as critical and hard to please as his mother, and it seemed to make him happy. She was happy for him, too. She had always liked Leonard, but his clinginess and insecurities had driven her crazy when they were dating. They got along much better as just friends.

So the four of them started spending quite a bit of time together. Their weeks were now divided up into couples nights, date nights and guy and girl's nights. Sheldon and Leonard happily resumed their weekly comic store nights and vintage video game nights, while Penny and Priya went shopping or got their nails done. Penny tried her best not to be jealous as Priya seemed to buy out the stores, while she had to be content with window shopping or just buying a scarf or lipstick. But Penny now had a goal in mind, and it was worth sacrificing a few designer clothes for. She had enrolled for classes at a local state school. From her previous community college experience, she had almost enough credits for an associate's degree, but Penny had her sights set higher on a special education degree. She realized that if someone had identified her learning problems early on and addressed them, she might have actually succeeded in school. She had been inspired to play that role in the lives of other students. Besides Sheldon, it was the first time she had felt really passionate about something in a long time. The classes were difficult for her, but she had Sheldon's full support. She would never be a straight-A student, but she worked hard enough to pass all of her classes.

Penny liked to express her gratitude to Sheldon for his help with extended make-out sessions on the couch. Over time, he found that he not only enjoyed those times, but that he actually wanted more. He began to have vivid dreams of Penny sharing his bed, curled up warm and soft next to him wearing absolutely nothing. He often woke to an unpleasantly sticky mess the morning after his dreams. His reproductive system was apparently ready for him to take the next step with Penny, but he disagreed. Even knowing that he loved Penny and hoped to one day marry her, he still struggled with the idea of having coitus. It involved so much unnecessary touching and could transmit all sort of germs. But these arguments were beginning to sound hollow even in his own mind.

* * *

"Wow, this is a really nice place," Leonard said, taking in the white linen tablecloths and taper candles as he sat down. Priya had told him she was taking him out to dinner, and the understated elegance of the decor reminded him again how much more money she made than he did. He was glad he had decided to wear his second best suit. They made small talk throughout the meal, but Leonard could tell that something was on Priya's mind. In fact, by the way she kept twisting the stem of her wine glass, he would have said she was nervous.

Finally, she gave him an uncertain smile. "I have big news."

Leonard put down his dessert fork and gave her his full attention, something he had learned in therapy. "You've seemed a little tense all evening. Is everything okay?" he asked.

She reached over and took his hand. "I've been offered a promotion, a really important one. It could be huge for my career."

"That sound great! Isn't it? Uh… why aren't you more excited about it?"

"Because the job is in New Delhi," she replied, looking away.

"Oh." Leonard reached over and took both of her hands in his. "Baby, you know I want to meet your parents, and I've already told you I'm willing to move to India."

"The thing is… they don't know about you yet," Priya said slowly.

"Oh." Leonard sat back in dismay. His initial impulse was to badger Priya into admitting she had treated him badly because she was ashamed of him. Instead, he followed Dr. Rivera's advice. He held his tongue, asked Priya to tell him more about the situation, and then listened. By the time she had finished explaining how much pressure she felt from her parents to be the perfect daughter, his anger had vanished entirely. "I love you too much to be separated from you by an ocean," he told her. "I don't want you to leave California, but if you feel like you have to, I want to come with you. Only you can decide if you can handle your parents' criticism, but I want you to know, you have my full support no matter what you decide."

Priya looked into his wide brown eyes, looking at her with so much love and patience, and knew she had her answer. "I'm an adult now. If my parents don't like that I'm dating a white boy, they'll just have to get over it." Then she laughed bitterly. "You should know that I probably won't be welcome in their house after I tell them."

Leonard leaned over the table to kiss her. "If it's any consolation, I've been an embarrassment to my parents my entire life."

She reached out and took both his hands in hers. "Leonard, I am not embarrassed to have you as my boyfriend. All my life, I've tried so hard to live up to my parents' expectations, and no matter what I do, I've never felt like I was good enough for them. I'm done trying to please them. Can we…" She paused and looked up at him shyly. "When we get to India, I want to be able to introduce you as my fiancé. I want it to be us against the world. What do you think?"

Leonard was beaming. He jumped up from his seat and pulled Priya into his arms. "I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He reached down and fumbled in his wallet for a moment, then suddenly dropped to one knee in front of her. She covered her mouth with both hands as she gasped in astonishment. Leonard held out a diamond ring to her. "Priya, will you marry me?" he asked. She couldn't do anything but nod. He slid the ring onto her left hand as the other restaurant-goers burst into delighted applause.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, this is the same ring he's been carrying around since he started dating Penny. Leonard may have changed somewhat, but he's still that kind of guy. Remember, it's canon that he's been in therapy practically since he could talk, and in canon, he's still a screwed-up, manipulative mess.**


	15. Chapter 15

Penny walked into apartment 4A and almost tripped over a pile of packing materials. "Hey, guys," she called out.

Leonard was the first to appear. "Hi, Penny. Thanks so much for picking up dinner. I'm starving."

"When is Priya getting here?" she asked, clearing a spot on the sofa so she could sit down.

"As soon as she's done with work," Leonard said. "Her coworkers threw a little going away-slash-engagement party for her in the break room today. She played it cool, but later when she called to tell me about it, she started crying. She's never really felt like people accepted her, you know, especially the way her parents are."

Penny knew that Priya often came across as haughty and superior, but once she stopped hating her for hooking up with Leonard, she could deal with that. Knowing Sheldon had given her years of practice dealing with arrogant types. The thing you had to realize was that they all had their vulnerability, their kryptonite, so to speak. Still, she and Priya would never be best friends, and they both knew it. Priya still harbored a hint of suspicious jealousy towards Penny. _Like I'd want him back_ , Penny thought sarcastically. She had long ago made her peace with the fact that she and Leonard were better off as friends.

Just then, Sheldon entered the living room. His face lit up when he saw Penny, and she hopped up from the sofa to greet him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him for long enough that Leonard began to feel uncomfortable.

"Get a room, guys," he joked weakly.

Sheldon stepped back reluctantly. "I have been considering just that possibility," he said.

Penny, who had gone back to the coffee table to get Sheldon's food, looked up with wide eyes. She seemed unable to move as she stared at him with a takeout container in one hand.

"Come again?" Leonard asked, looking from one to the other uncertainly.

"I thought that Penny might wish to cohabitate with me now that you are moving out," Sheldon explained.

Now it was Penny's turn to look uncomfortable as she glanced at Leonard. "Honey, maybe we can talk about this later," she began.

"I would like to talk about it now," Sheldon said truculently.

"I think I still have some packing up to do in my bedroom," Leonard interjected. He stood up quickly and left the room, snagging his food on the way.

Penny sighed and sat down on the middle cushion of the leather couch. Sheldon took his place beside her. "Do you have some objections to our cohabiting besides the implied increase in the commitment level of our relationship?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," she said, looking down at her hands as she fidgeted. "We've been together for-"

"Nine months and twenty-one days," Sheldon supplied promptly.

"Right. Moving in together is a big step. You know I love you. I just don't want to do it for the wrong reasons."

"What reasons would those be?" he asked.

"Because it makes sense," she said in a low voice. "Because you want everything to fit into a neat little box, including me." Since Penny had taken a number of courses in comparative behavioral psychology, she had come to the conclusion that Sheldon had Asperger's. He wasn't yet ready to admit it, but he had stopped arguing with her about it. Even he had to concede that it would explain so much about his personality.

He reached over and took her hands in his. "Penny, incorporating your lifestyle and belongings into my domicile would mean the exact opposite of 'fitting everything into a neat little box'. In fact, I dare say nothing about you is neat. You are chaotic and messy and impulsive… and yet somehow, my life would be incomplete without you. The way I feel about you is a paradox I wrestle with every day. It is completely illogical, but it is also the most important thing in my life."

Penny brushed her hands underneath her eyes, wiping away the moisture that had formed as Sheldon spoke. She looked around the room, gathering her composure. She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Then suddenly, she hopped up and strode down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

"Hey Leonard, you can come out now!" she called. "Looks like I'm moving in."

She went back to sit next to her boyfriend, who had started to unpack the rest of their dinner with a little smile. Watching him, she realized that he hadn't even mentioned that his food was getting cold. _He really does love me_ , she thought. With a rush of affection, she leaned over and whispered what she was going to do to him when they were finally alone. By the time Leonard joined them, the faint tinge of pink had faded from Sheldon's cheeks, but inwardly, he was counting the minutes until they could make their excuses and steal away to Penny's apartment for some privacy.

* * *

It didn't take too long for Penny to get all her things moved across the hall under Sheldon's organizational oversight. She was a little sad to see Leonard moving half a world away, and knew that it was much more difficult for her boyfriend. So she tried to be supportive and even made a special effort to pick up after herself, at least for the first few weeks. They had a few arguments about her messiness (she suspected he secretly enjoyed the arguing, and the making up which followed) but for the most part, she loved having a place all to themselves.

One night, Sheldon had just placed their nightly dinner order when Penny burst into the apartment, waving a paper around.

"I got it! I can't believe I got it! Oh, I'm so excited!" she danced around the room, stopped for a moment to give him a resounding kiss, and then resumed her crazy antics.

"I assume you are referring to the internship at the Glendale Opportunity Academy?" he asked mildly.

Penny grinned at him. "Stop teasing me. You know it's all I've been talking about for weeks. The Director of Arts said he was very interested in my ideas for a new drama program, but I never would've gotten my foot in the door if you hadn't helped me with my application essay." She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's after six, so I know you've already ordered our dinner, but I was hoping we could celebrate tonight."

"At this time of evening, I doubt we could get into La Fontaine," Sheldon remarked, referring to her favorite special occasion restaurant.

"Actually, I had something a little more private in mind," she replied, biting her lip as she ran her fingers up his arm.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Coitus, Penny? Before nine PM?"

Her smile broadened. "Live a little, honey. Embrace the chaos."

"Penny, if you keep distracting me like this, I'm not sure I shall have the mental wherewithal to count out correct change for the delivery person," he complained.

With a smirk, she sauntered over to him and slid into his back pocket for his wallet, causing him to jump at the contact. She pulled a couple of bills out and stuffed them into an envelope. On the outside of the envelope, she wrote, "Hang takeout bag on the door handle. Thx." Then she taped the envelope to their front door.

"Better?" she asked him mischievously.

"I believe that will suffice," he said. As he reached for her, she twisted away.

"Hold on a minute, I know you want to Tivo _The Walking Dead_ , and I've got to get ready. I'm gonna put on that thing you like."

His jaw dropped. "You're going to wear my Flash t-shirt?"

"And nothing else," she whispered in his ear before sauntering back to the bedroom. Yup, he had weird turn-ons, she thought, but she didn't mind. It worked for both of them.

Much later, as they lay curled up together in bed, Penny said, "Have you thought anymore about what I asked you?" Her fingers trawled idly through his chest hair, counterclockwise, of course.

"You mean about getting tested? Of course, I've thought about it. After all, how often does one's girlfriend ask for proof of one's abnormality?"

She sighed. "Abnormality isn't a better word than crazy, honey. They're both derogatory terms used to put people down for being different."

"I think you were easier to live with when you weren't six credits shy of a psychology minor," he grumbled.

She chuckled at that, but persisted. "It's just that I think you could do so much good by admitting you have Asperger's. You have friends, a successful career... and a smoking hot girlfriend," she added roguishly. "There are a lot of kids—a lot of people—who still think like you, that if they're different from everyone else, then there must be something wrong with them. And that's just not true. I would love to see you get diagnosed because it would help so many other people know they can have a good, full, happy life no matter what challenges they face."

Sheldon held her close. "I'm just not ready," he said quietly, willing her to understand.

She didn't disappoint him. "Just so you know, I'm not giving up on you," she said. She kissed him lightly. As she pulled away, he rolled with her so he ended up on top. She gave a little squeak of surprise which quickly became a murmur of appreciation as he began nuzzling her neck. "You didn't think after that 'smoking hot girlfriend' comment, I was just going to let you go to sleep, did you?" he murmured in a low voice.

"I hoped not," she purred as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

* * *

"You look beautiful," Sheldon said, handing her a plastic sheath full of flowers. He took the necklace out of her shaking hands and fastened it around her neck, admiring how his anniversary gift to her sparkled against her skin. She looked every inch the polished, elegant teacher in her scoop-necked black jersey dress with her hair up in a chignon.

"Thanks, honey," she replied distractedly. "But I'm so nervous. What if Kevin starts yelling out random stuff in the middle of the performance? What if Shonda starts taking apart the set again?"

He captured both of her hands in one of his larger ones and tilted her chin up to look him in the eye. "All those things could happen and more, and it wouldn't matter. We both know how much your pupils have learned throughout this experience. Ten weeks ago, Miles wouldn't say a word in class, and now he has six lines in the play. You have made an extraordinary difference in these children's lives already because you are an extraordinary teacher."

She squeezed his hands tightly. "How do you always know just the right thing to say?" she murmured.

"Simple. Because I am a genius," he replied smugly, making her laugh as was his intention.

"All right. Get going. I've got to do a final costume check. I love you," she said.

"I am so proud of you," he said seriously.

She sucked in a breath and bit her lip. "Get out of here before you make me cry," she ordered.

"Break a leg," he said with a wink before he left.

The play was going well. There were some minor mishaps, a few flubbed lines and the like, but the audience (mostly family members of the students) were willing to overlook the little flaws. Penny was so busy she didn't even get the chance to peek out at the audience until the third scene. She spotted Sheldon immediately, sitting in a reserved seat in the second row. She was just about to turn back to her kids when she glimpsed a familiar profile. Heart pounding, she squinted against the flood lights and then gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth. "Daddy," she whispered. It was her parents, both of them, sitting a little further back and on the opposite side of the theater. Her eyes welled with tears. Even though the farm was doing much better now, she knew it was still a huge sacrifice for them to be here. She hardly remembered was happened in the last scene before intermission. Fighting her way through the crowds, she reached her parents at last. "Mom! Daddy! What are you doing here?"

Her dad was grinning. "Couldn't miss your debut as a director, now could we?"

Her mother added, "Sheldon wanted to fly us in for your graduation, but that's during our busy season, so he flew us in to see your first play instead. You've done such a good job with the children, dear."

Penny accepted her mother's praise, knowing her mom had no idea what her pupils had been like ten weeks ago. It didn't matter. Penny looked over to see Sheldon weaving toward her through the crowd. She hugged him tightly as he made it to her side. "Was this your idea? You know you've completely ruined my makeup, you jerk," she teased as she wiped at her eyes.

He kissed her, no longer shy in front of her parents. "You can punish me for it later," he whispered in her ear.

* * *

 **A/N: So I guess some of you were hoping for a little more detail about how Sheldon got over his hang-ups about "coitus", or maybe just some steamy hot scenes between the two of them. There's little hints of it here and there, but this story is mostly about how both of them are growing into the kind of people we wish they were on the show. And by the way, I love giving Penny a real career and think with a little personal growth, she would be great working with people with special needs.**


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey, guys," Penny said cheerfully to her computer screen. It was their regularly scheduled night to Skype with Leonard and Priya. Sheldon, at her side, bade them a more formal hello. Leonard and Priya chorused hello back.

"So what have you guys been up to?" Penny asked.

"We're having breakfast." Leonard tilted his computer screen so that Sheldon and Penny could see the view over his shoulder. An immaculately groomed garden was bursting with vibrantly colored flowers. He and Priya were sitting at a small table on an outdoor colonnaded terrace. The table was set with snowy white linen, paper-thin china tea cups and sterling silverware. A uniformed servant hovered at a discreet distance, waiting for an opportunity to be of service.

"I think I could get used to this," Leonard grinned.

"Wow. So you're really all moved in to the Koothrapali mansion? I can't believe the huge about-face that your parents pulled, Priya," Penny exclaimed.

"Yes, it was quite remarkable. They argued with me for several months until they saw that they could not change my mind about Leonard. Then they realized that they either needed to accept him…"

"Or have everyone at their country club know that they weren't really as progressive as they pretended to be," Leonard cut in with a grin.

"Now the problem is that my mother wants to plan every detail of my wedding," Priya added, rolling her eyes. "But I think that since I have won a little respect from my parents, we will be able to move forward without wanting to kill each other over the color of my bridesmaid's shoes. Speaking of which…" she glanced over at Leonard.

"We want you to be here," Leonard said. "In fact, Sheldon, I want you to be my best man."

Sheldon was actually speechless for a moment. "I would be honored," he finally managed.

"And Penny, I want you to be one of my bridesmaids," Priya said. "We will actually be combining elements of traditional Indian and American wedding customs. I can tell you that the wedding will be a huge week-long event. My parents will be flying in relatives from all over the world, and there will be a few thousand people."

"Wait, did you say thousand?" Penny cried.

"They do things on a whole different scale over here," Leonard commented, shaking his head.

"Speaking of scale, have you solved the issue of the phase differential in your work with the gravitational microlensing?" Sheldon asked eagerly.

Penny rolled her eyes. She knew he was far more interested in hearing about Leonard's latest research than wedding plans. "Priya, I'll call you tomorrow night… I mean, morning for you. We can talk more about wedding stuff. In the meantime, we're so happy for you both." She leaned over and whispered in Sheldon's ear.

"I'm afraid our conversation will need to be succinct, Leonard," he said promptly as Penny groaned. "Penny has just informed me that she can only wait up for me for another half-hour, and then she will need to get her sleep in order to get up early for work tomorrow." Once she had graduated, Penny gladly accepted the offer to stay on as the new drama director at the academy. She still didn't get up as early as her boyfriend, but seven AM seemed awfully early to her, and she wasn't much of a morning person. Sheldon had learned not to attempt to engage her in conversation in the mornings until she had finished her first cup of coffee.

Leonard grinned mischievously. "Wait up for you? As in sex? The great Sheldon Cooper, being bribed with sex? That's just too weird. I'm kinda glad I'm half a world away."

"It's not a bribe; it's an incentive, and one I fully intend to take advantage of," Sheldon replied seriously. "Reproduction is a biological imperative."

"You just keep right on telling yourself that," Leonard laughed. Shaking his head as if to rid himself of a certain mental image, he quickly launched into a description of the results of his latest experiment.

* * *

When Penny talked to Priya the next day, she found out that Priya had even bigger news.

"You're moving back to California? That's great! But what about your job?" Penny asked.

Priya said, "To be perfectly honest, the position I have now comes with an expectation that I will be working a lot of overtime. I hardly ever see Leonard. It's too much, especially if we're going to start a family someday."

"Really? You've talked about that already?" Penny faltered.

"Of course," Priya said calmly. "We are engaged, after all. It's only natural that we discuss our plans for the future, including children."

Penny was silent for a moment. "When I was dating Leonard, the thought of settling down made me break out into a cold sweat. Now I know why, because I didn't really love him that way. I'm just glad he found someone else who wants the same things he does. And it's going to be great to have you guys around again. Sheldon doesn't say much about it, but I can tell he really misses having Leonard around."

"I know; they've been collaborating together on Leonard's latest project," Priya said. "His research is at a point where he could really benefit from equipment like the Cray supercomputer at Caltech. He's already talked to President Seibert, who is very excited to have him come back, especially now that his research looks so promising."

Penny added, "Sheldon tells me he's already been working on the theoretical side of the issue. I don't understand it at all, but it sounds like he's come up with a couple of ways to improve on Leonard's original idea. I think this is going to be huge for both their careers, as long as they don't start fighting over whose name gets listed first when they publish."

"No, they've already worked that out. Leonard's name goes first on this paper, since he came up with the experiment. Any findings that stem from Sheldon's ideas will have his name at the top."

"Sounds like therapy was good for their friendship too," Penny commented.

After she ended the call, she sat thinking for a while, even though she knew she should be leaving for work soon. Marriage… kids… that had never been part of her plans for her future. Then again, she came to California dreaming of becoming the next Julia Roberts. The path she had chosen for herself was never going to make her famous, but it just felt so right. She suspected that even had she made it big as an actress, she wouldn't have found it as fulfilling as her work now. She was beginning to think that marriage would also be like that, maybe not as exciting as flirting with every cute guy in a club, but better than she had imagined.

* * *

The next three months passed quickly. Sheldon was excited about Leonard returning to Caltech, although he still had a hard time admitting to feeling anything more than pleased. Their research had yielded spectacular results, and their first joint paper was in its early draft phases. He was certain that it would garner them a lot of attention in the world of physics. In fact, the other day, Gablehauser had mentioned the possibility of tenured positions for both of them if they kept producing consistent results. Sheldon wasn't sure how he felt about that; a tenured professorship would mean more classes to teach, more grad students to advise, and more committees to staff or chair. But it would also mean more respect from his peers, and a more stable career, not to mention a significant pay raise.

He thought the extra money would be useful because after eight years of living in his current apartment, he was finally contemplating moving. He still hated change, but the impetus for this idea was finding out that Leonard and Priya had put an offer on a condo on the far side of the Caltech campus. From his current abode, it would be more than a twenty minute drive to their place. But there were some other condos for sale in the same development. If he and Leonard couldn't be roommates any more, having his friend a short walk away seemed like the next best thing. It wouldn't happen right away, of course. He would have to start diverting funds from his retirement savings to put aside for a down payment, and then there was the fact that he hadn't even mentioned it to Penny. Given her fear of commitment, he had no idea how she would react to the idea.

Lately, he noticed that Penny had been very preoccupied, helping Priya with her wedding plans. The two women spent hours on the phone, talking about details like flowers and place settings. The topic of conversation utterly bored him, but he hoped that some of Penny's excitement might represent a softening of her attitude toward marriage. He could only hope. In the meantime, he had to be satisfied with the fact that she came home to him every night, and that every night, he could hold her in his arms. His Meemaw had warned him that it was the curse of the Cooper men to fall hard and fast for only one woman, their true love. He had always scoffed at that, and told her she needn't worry about it ever happening to him. Perhaps she was gloating a little now at being proved right, but he knew she loved him unconditionally, something he hadn't experienced much in his life. Penny was one of the few exceptions, and the only woman that he would ever love. Perhaps Penny just needed time to be persuaded of that fact.


	17. Chapter 17

Much to Sheldon's surprise, Penny loved the idea of moving out of the apartment. What had been a long and suspenseful decision for him seemed remarkably easy for her. He imagined that perhaps she enjoyed change as much as he dreaded it. Since he had started counseling though, he had learned to ask Penny about her thoughts and opinions instead of making assumptions. That process went a long way toward staving off arguments, and it also helped him to really understand this often-baffling woman who was the love of his life and yet so different from him.

So when he asked her why she was excited about the prospect of moving, he found out that Penny had always felt a bit uncomfortable living in the bachelor pad that he had once shared with Leonard. Not only did it contain memories of her ill-fated relationship with Leonard, but she still felt rather like a guest in Sheldon's home. She had moved in some of her own things, but the place still had the leather-couch-and-video-game ambience of two single guys. At first, Sheldon was offended by her attitude. Then he took a quick mental inventory of their common living areas and discovered that if anything, she had been soft-pedaling the issue. Outside of her bedroom (which she mostly just used as a storage place for her clothes), there was very little in their apartment that reflected Penny's tastes or interests.

Sheldon still hated to apologize, so to make it up to her, he offered her veto power on the condo. They went to look at it the very next day. To his relief, Penny loved the place and immediately started talking about how she was going to decorate. Moving in together was a big step, but Sheldon was more than ready, even anxious, for it. By this time, he was happy to allow Penny to choose the furniture and add as many throw pillows and knick knacks as she wanted, as long as it meant she wanted a future with him.

They barely had time to complete all the paperwork to put an offer in on the condo before it was time for them to start packing for their trip. Penny may have rolled her eyes a few times at all of his emergency contingency plans, but she was too excited about the upcoming vacation to mind. Having lived in Germany for several years, the notion that Penny had never traveled outside of the United States had surprised Sheldon. He was used to thinking of international travel as nothing more than a nuisance to be borne, but her enthusiasm was almost contagious. Despite his loathing of air flights and the idiosyncrasies of other countries, he found himself mentally planning where he could take her on their next trip.

After a twelve-hour flight, they arrived in New Delhi. Penny was almost beside herself with excitement. She kept taking pictures of everything with her cell phones, from signs written in Hindu to a selfie with their flight attendant, Lela, whose uniform was a traditional sari. Sheldon found himself thinking that she must love traveling as much as he loved model trains. They were met by a turbaned chauffeur bearing a sign marked "Cooper/Larsen". The man led them out to a stretch limo, where they found Leonard waiting for them. Penny gave him a quick hug before stepping back to take several pictures of the limo, and Sheldon surprised Leonard by shaking his hand.

"Getting married is almost as momentous as winning the Nobel Prize," Sheldon explained with a slight smile. He continued smiling as he watched Penny bounce from seat to seat in the limo, pressing all the buttons while trying to take photos of the scenery whizzing past outside.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Leonard said to Sheldon, shaking his head. "I'm about to get married to the love of my life, and you're in love with the woman I once wanted to marry. And look at you: you're smiling, and it's not even your koala bear smile."

"Koala bears have nothing on Penny," Sheldon replied, which caused Leonard to crack up.

"I've missed you, buddy. I can't wait 'til we can all hang out together again," Leonard said.

"Raj, Howard and Bernadette will all be at the wedding, if they have not arrived already," Sheldon pointed out.

"Yeah, but that doesn't really count. I'll be so busy, I'm not sure I'll have the chance to do more than say hi. At least Raj has forgiven me for sleeping with his sister, now that I'm about to make an honest woman out of her."

"That phrase has always puzzled me," Sheldon mused. "How does a woman's abstinence or promiscuity relate to her truthfulness?"

Leonard just laughed and shook his head. "I'm glad that some things never change."

* * *

Leonard was correct about his prediction that he wouldn't have much time to spend with his friends. The next few days were a blur of activities. He and Sheldon, along with Raj and Howard, were fitted for both custom-made tuxedos as well as traditional Indian garb. There were parties to attend and a seemingly endless procession of important friends of the Koothrapalis that he simply had to meet. Meanwhile, Penny and Priya were nigh inseparable as they tended to a million last -minute details.

The day of the wedding dawned clear and fair, as if it didn't dare do anything else. The vast expanse of the emerald green lawns of the Koothrapali estate had sprouted dozens of vivid tents, popping up overnight like a ring of brightly colored toadstools. Everyone was woken early by the trumpeting of the elephant, which had been brought in the night before. Leonard was going to make his entrance in grand style on the back of the long-suffering beast, although he confided to his groomsmen that he had nightmares about falling on his face as he tried to dismount.

Fortunately, his fears were unfounded. There were several attendants to assist him and surreptitiously ensure that the ceremony proceeded without a hitch. Penny tried not to laugh to see Sheldon, Raj and Howard following after Leonard, all wearing traditional garb and mounted on snow white horses. She actually thought Sheldon looked sexy in his get-up, like an exotic prince, and she was hoping he might wear it for her later. As Leonard and his groomsmen approached, they participated in an elaborate ritual which involved the exchange of ritual gifts and many garlands of flowers. Leonard's outfit was already glittering with jewels and gold embroidery. Priya was likewise garbed in a bejeweled red sari and veil, worn so it covered her hair, not her face.

Penny caught Sheldon's eye and grinned as he took his place under the wedding canopy. She had never been one of those girls that had their whole wedding planned out. In fact, that idea always confused her because she thought the wedding should be a reflection of the groom's personality too. For instance, she knew that Sheldon would rather move to the North Pole than have a huge spectacle of a wedding like this. Fortunately, she knew they both would prefer a small, intimate wedding with just their closest friends and family. She glanced over at him again. He was watching solemnly as Leonard and Priya joined hands and circled around a small fire in an elegant jeweled brazier. There wasn't even a hint of boredom or impatience on his face, and she wished she could tell him how proud she was of him and of the changes he had made in his life. As she turned her attention back to Leonard and Priya, who were now exchanging rings along with traditional Western vows, suddenly she knew exactly what she had to do. Everything seemed so clear that she could hardly wait for the ceremony to be over so she could talk to Sheldon alone.

Alone time, however, was nearly impossible to find at a wedding reception for almost five thousand of the Koothrapali's family and friends (plus the handful that was Leonard's friends and parents). Penny found herself searching the crowd for faces that were pale instead of varying shades of brown. She saw Bernadette and Howard a few times, giggling hysterically as they tried to follow along with the Punjabi style of dancing. Leonard and Priya were ensconced in a special tent where well-wishers filed by for hours, offering their congratulations. She had seen Raj once after the ceremony, but he was also busy with his parents' guests. Finally, Penny wandered away from the crowds. She made her way to the back of the estate, where the wedding guests only numbered in the dozens instead of thousands.

As she leaned over an ornately carved bridge overlooking a still pond, she saw the rippling reflection of someone walking across the stone arch toward her. She knew just from the way he walked that it was Sheldon. She flew into his arms and kissed him.

"I should have known that if I wanted to find you, I needed to get away from all those people," she murmured in his ear.

He gave her a small smile. "Unfortunately, our presence is required for more wedding party photographs. I was sent to look for you." His fingers stroked the scant inches of bare skin exposed by Penny's elaborate sari. "Have I told you that you look far more beautiful than the bride?"

She laughed and swatted his arm. "You're not supposed to say that. This is Priya's big day, you know. Although a little too big for my tastes," she grimaced.

"You prefer a small wedding, then?" he asked as a spark of interest kindled in his eyes.

"Yeah… think that could be arranged?"

"Penny, are you saying…" he faltered.

"I'm saying yes. I want everyone to know how much I love you. I want to be able to call you my husband. What do you say?"

"I say, I thought you'd never ask," he replied, breaking out into a huge boyish grin. The next second, he swept her into his arms and kissed her so thoroughly that everything else seemed to fade away.

Finally, he released her. "I'm afraid you're going to have to redo your makeup."

She wiped at the red stain on his lower lip. "So are you," she laughed. As they walked back toward the reception, hand in hand, she whispered, "Now you don't need to use your koala smile for the pictures."

He laughed, not his breathy gasp, but a real full-throated joyous sound. He pulled on her hand, causing her to stop as he held her close. "Don't you know? I retired the koala smile the day I fell in love with you," he said before he kissed her once more.


	18. Chapter 18

When Penny was four, she went through a girly phase where she wore dresses every day, usually accompanied by a sequined crown and wand. At least, that's what her mom loved to tell her as the woman "suffered" through Penny's tomboy years. Penny didn't remember a thing about it and could hardly believe that was her in those old photos, swathed in pink, ruffles and sparkles.

When she was seven, her aunt had gotten engaged and wanted Penny to be a junior bridesmaid. Penny clearly remembered that no one ever asked her how she felt about it. After sulking through several fittings, she finally ripped off the dress, tearing out the bottom flounce in the process. The damage to the dress could be repaired, but it was apparent that Penny was not going to cooperate. She ignored the sighs and reproachful looks from both her mother and aunt as she ran off to practice pitching for her next softball game.

She might be an adult now and not averse to wearing some sexy little number, but something in Penny's mind still rebelled at the idea of poufy dresses and formal ceremonies. Her wedding was going to be different. Sheldon, at least, was wholly on her side. She remembered he once said that he was terrified of any crowd large enough to trample him. Although he had since gotten much better at dealing with his irrational fears, she had no intention of testing his limits. The only people she wanted to be there when she got married were her closest friends and family. She knew her mom might raise a token protest over her minimalist ideas. That was why she wasn't even going to give her the chance. The wedding was set for just three weeks away. Her parents were flying in the night before, and Penny's only instructions to them had been a stern warning to not buy a fancy dress or rent a tux.

* * *

This was definitely the biggest secret Sheldon had ever had to keep. Although he had made great strides in conquering his phobias, he was relieved that he didn't have to keep silent for long. Their wedding was going to be almost the complete opposite of Leonard and Priya's. Penny still tended to downplay important decisions. Sheldon didn't completely understand why, but it didn't matter. As long as he knew she loved him, everything else was just a detail.

He had already made arrangements for his mom and sister to fly out for a short visit. Although his mother may have hoped for a formal ceremony with an ordained minister (preferably southern Baptist) officiating, he knew she would gladly settle for seeing him happily married. She hadn't been subtle in her hints that it was high time he made Penny "an honest woman" and got down to the business of giving her some grandbabies. Children, he supposed, would come in time… if Penny wanted them. After seeing the way she interacted with her students, he was certain she would be an excellent mother.

* * *

Just two weeks after the Hofstadter newlyweds returned to Pasadena, Penny told all their friends to meet them at a public garden. She said they were all going to have their pictures taken together. That was the truth, as far as it went, which saved Sheldon from nervous tics every time the subject came up. What Penny was actually planning was a surprise wedding… or at least half a surprise, since they did tell their families ahead of time.

The lowering sun was casting a golden tint over the world as their friends met them at the entrance to the park. Per Penny's instructions, the guys all wore button-down shirts with ties. Bernie was wearing a cute yellow sundress, while Priya wore a cream silk pantsuit. Penny wore a gauzy blue dress just a few shades lighter than Sheldon's cobalt blue shirt which brought out the blue in his eyes. Together, they led their unsuspecting friends along the path until they rounded a corner and came upon a clearing. Several people were already waiting there, including an unfamiliar man in a suit, standing under a gauze canopy.

Leonard stopped short when she saw the gathering. "Hey, Sheldon, what's your mom doing here?"

Raj and Bernadette figured it out at almost the same time, and let out matching squeals of excitement. Bernie flew over to Penny and hugged her tightly, and then immediately started scolding her. "I wanted to help you plan your wedding. What about your dress, and the flowers, and the cake, and… and… a wedding is supposed to be _special_ ," she almost wailed.

Penny hugged her back, but said firmly, "This is exactly the way I wanted it. No fuss, no stress, no blowing thousands of dollars on a dress you only wear once. All I ever wanted was for the people I love to be here, and you all are."

Bernie nodded and wiped quickly at her eyes. "Okay. I guess I can't be mad at you when you put it that way."

Sheldon and Penny exchanged their vows in a brief ceremony conducted by the officiant, who was a justice of the peace. As Penny slid the simple gold band on his left hand, Sheldon couldn't imagine that even winning the Nobel would make him feel any more happy or proud that he was at that moment.

After the promised photos were taken by a friend of Penny's from work, they all got into a stretch limo which whisked all of them off to a retro-forties club. They had dinner in a private room, enlivened by plenty of champagne. After that, Penny had arranged to have an instructor come and teach them the basics of swing dancing. Even Sheldon, bolstered by the heady effects of half a glass of bubbly, managed to maneuver Penny around the room a few times without tripping on his feet of hers. But for most of the evening, he was happy to watch as his friends were all enjoying themselves. Penny came over often to give him a quick kiss or chat for a few minutes, but she understood that he didn't need to be dancing to feel he was participating.

Finally, she sat down next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Wanna sneak out of here and go fool around?" she asked with a grin.

He smiled back but examined her face closely. "It's only ten minutes after eight," he commented, checking his watch. "Are you certain you wish to leave this early?"

She shrugged. "I've been feeling a little tired lately, but it's no big deal. If we leave now, we'll have the rest of the night to do whatever we want." The look on her face made it very clear what she had in mind.

"We do have to get up early tomorrow for our flight," he agreed with a complicit smirk. He rose and drew her into his embrace. "I love you, Mrs. Cooper," he whispered against the golden silk of her hair.

She lifted up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I love you too. Just promise me you'll remember that tomorrow."

He looked confused. "Why wouldn't I? I have an eidetic memory."

She gave him a mysterious smile and refused to answer. Instead she took his arm, and they slipped quietly away together.

* * *

Their honeymoon was on the Big Island of Hawaii. Penny had been planning to spend the week lying on the beach, working on her tan, while Sheldon couldn't wait to sightsee at the Keck Observatory with its massive telescope. But on their first night at their hotel, Penny sat down cross-legged in the middle of their king-sized bed with its crisp white linens.

"Come sit next to me," she said, patting the bed beside her. He could never resist that invitation, which exactly echoed the first day they had met.

She handed him a card-sized envelope. He opened it and pulled out a trifold card. The front panel had a picture of him dressed up as Batman. Penny had obviously photo shopped in his face, but it made him smile anyway. Above his head on the card, a word balloon said "You…" Unfolding the next panel, his eyes widened to see a photo of Penny in a Batgirl costume, obviously _not_ photo shopped. She had placed her image next to his, with one arm crooked out to the side. The caption read, "And me…" Sheldon's heart beat faster and his palms began to sweat at the sight of Penny dressed up so sexily, even as his mind was racing down entirely different pathways: _Did this mean she was open to the idea of cosplay? Would she attend conventions with him? Had she read any of the comic books?_

Penny nudged him gently. "You haven't read the rest of the card yet," she said, twisting her hands in her lap.

Now curious, Sheldon opened to the final panel… and his mind went completely blank with astonishment. The figure of Penny now cradled a tiny, cherubic bundle in her bent arm, and the words above their heads said, "And Bat-baby makes three."

Spots danced in Sheldon's vision, and he gradually became aware that Penny was shaking him and peering into his face anxiously. "Is this- is this a hypothetical supposition, or…" Words failed him.

She bit her lip apprehensively and handed him a sheet of paper. It contained the results of a recent blood test. _Subject: Larsen, Penelope C. Date: three weeks ago. HCG count: 256 mIU/mL._ There was no doubt about it. Penny was pregnant. He stared at the paper for much longer than was strictly necessary.

"Honey? Say something, please," Penny begged.

"I… I have never been adverse to the idea of progeny," he said weakly. A muscle under his left eye twitched slightly. "I will adapt," he added, more firmly. "I have not yet regretted my decision to embrace the chaos that you have brought into my life."

Penny was smiling by this point. She knew change was difficult for him, but this response was equivalent to someone else jumping up and shouting for joy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing him. He responded, slowly at first, but then with more enthusiasm, until suddenly he jerked upright. "We will need to buy a house," he blurted out.

"Honey, what are you talking about? We just bought a condo," Penny protested.

"With twins on the way, I believe the extra square footage of a detached residence will eventually become necessary," he said distractedly.

" _Twins?_ What do you mean, twins?" Penny cried.

It was his turn to stare at her in confusion. "I thought you knew. Your chorionic gonadotropin levels are unusually high for this early in a pregnancy. That usually indicates multiples, and given my family history, you are most likely pregnant with twins."

Penny sank back into the fluffy comforter. "Oh, holy crap, now I think I know how you feel when someone throws you a curveball," she groaned.

He leaned over her and gently rested a hand on her stomach. "You are much better at adapting to new situations than I am, and I already have evidence that you are excellent at interacting with children. You will make an amazing mother."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "And I know you're going to be great at being a daddy." She hooked a finger inside his double-layered t-shirts and drew him down on top of her. "But right now, I'm on my honeymoon, and I want to focus on being a wife," she said in a sexy drawl.

Her words brought to mind all the changes that he had experienced over the past two years: following Penny halfway across the country, learning to take pride in menial labor and physical tasks, falling in love, moving in together, buying their first home, and getting married. Becoming a father was just a natural progression, and he felt a small spark of excitement at the idea. He was learning not only to embrace the chaos of change, but to appreciate it, and all because of Penny.


End file.
